CoolSoundingBlog

AT 2: The trail as personality test

2010-09-16T06:20:00.007-04:00

There are many mysteries on earth that remain to be solved--is the planet actually getting warmer or did Al Gore make it up? what will stop cancer from attacking the body? what exactly is going on with Donald Trump's hair? Some of these may never be solved.

But one of the most underappreciated mysteries for me is that of human personality. People are so very fascinating for their lack of predictability, for the way in which you think you know what to expect and are so often proven wrong, or at least slightly off. People are surprising and it is this lack of boring in people that makes each day new and interesting. I think this is as true of ourselves, at least it's true for me. My own responses to a given situation or circumstance surprise and confound me almost on a daily basis, but we try to simplify this: "I know who I am. I'm an introvert or an extrovert, an athlete or a bookworm, a cat person or a dog person, a person who prefers Fritos or Doritos."

I've found that in extreme circumstances, we find out things that might escape us or might stay buried on a day-to-day basis. On an early mission trip in my campus ministry days, we took a group of high school students on a trip to New York to do a variety of service projects with The Salvation Army. The days were all scheduled, but circumstances often overtook planning and at various points throughout the day, surprises came. A meal was not available when we planned on it. A task was harder than originally thought. New York traffic derailed our schedule. In the group, one of the guys was about the most amiable, friendly, constantly laughing people you'd ever meet. He was easy in social situations and often brought groups of strangers together with his ability to put everyone at ease.

So it was a shock, when the combination of fatigue, hunger and unmet expectations made a monster out of this guy. Under those circumstances, which are integral to any mission trip I've experienced, he would become cantankerous and irritable, to the point of a heavily negative impact on the group dynamics. He was like a different person. Feed him a sandwich, happy-go-lucky came back almost instantly. But it's one of my singular memories of that trip.

But I digress, the Appalachian Trail (or I suppose any circumstance like spending four days and nights hiking in the woods without the usual comforts of life) represents an extreme challenge. For me and for the guys I went with, it was a completely different experience from our everyday, kids at home, to do lists and emails at work and relative comfort of a suburban experience. It pushed things to the surface that aren't always there. Have no fear, guys, I'm not going to go into some kind of trail-born psycho-analysis on each of you (although I will share some thoughts at that end). What happened on the trail stays on the trail (mostly).

By now, most of you have probably stopped reading anyway, but I'll try to put my discoveries on my own personality into five categories:

1. I like to reach goals that are set before me

2. I am driven in short bursts of action, but I can struggle with long hauls

3. I crave social interaction, but I need a quotient of alone time daily

4. I can miss the forest for the trail if I'm not careful

5. I should stop even attempting to multi-task

1. I like to reach goals that are set before me

On the trail, our group did not immediately designate a leader. We didn't have a set order 1-5 as we walked largely single file (it's all the trail allows in most spots). So in the early going, various people would find themselves in the lead. As I said in my earlier post, the terrain was constantly changing, with a barrage of ascents and descents. We were rarely walking on level ground for more than a few hundred yards. When your daily itinerary is 10 miles, this gives the feeling of always climbing or going down a hill.

As we made our way up some these climbs, it was not uncommon for someone to need a break along the way. What I found was that I could not bring myself to stop in the middle of hill. Our trip organizer, Pretty Boy had done a great job providing us with an itinerary that detailed the elevations of key points along the route. Therefore, we had a pretty good sense of how much work it would be to get from point A to point B and then on to points C, D and E. If I knew there was more hill to climb, I had an irresistible motivation to get to the top, regardless of exhaustion, physical pain, frustration or any other obstacle. I would rather push through to the goal and then rest, rather than stopping at 850 feet if I knew we had to make it to 1100.

I think this is true off the trail too. When a goal is in front of me, I am bothered as long as it is not completed. This can be a professional hazard given that I am not a house painter or a bank teller. I leave unfinished work on my desk every day, goals to complete. I come home to the same--as someone observed when we were doing a lot of work to prepare our home to move into it, "You know the list is never done, don't you?" On a day-to-day basis, I've had to learn to live with goals not met in one 24-hour period, but the feeling still unnerves me. On the trail, I could at least say "good, that hill has been climbed." Of course on the trail, any up generally implied a down was coming and vice versa. I was also far more comfortable and much more regularly out in front heading up than I was heading down.

2. I am driven in short bursts of action, but I can struggle with long hauls

This point is related to the first, but it's a detail that seems to matter. I know a lot of goal-oriented people and there are different approaches to goal achievement. Some of my friends and colleagues seem able to undertake every single element of a task, down to the most minute detail and go to town on all of it. In the equine world, I guess this would equate to the workhorses, the show horses and the racehorses. There are plenty of times that I have said to myself, "I wish I were more of a workhorse, a plodder instead of a prancer."

On the trail, it was more evident than anywhere else: give me an extreme challenge that is short-term in nature and I'm an animal. Give me a stretch of 2+ miles of level terrain that all starts to look the same and I'm given to boredom, frustration, lack of focus and complaining. Perhaps, it owes to the gypsy lifestyle of Salvation Army officer families, but I can do virtually anything for a short period of time as a means to an end, but the long hauls just don't do it for me in the same way.

This is not a comfortable thing for me to admit, but if you know me well, you're probably saying, "Drew, you're the last one to see this?" This obviously is a matter of prayer for me, to be more sustained and faithful in all of the endeavors of my life. Sprinting is fine, but the stuff that matters is all the long haul stuff that occurs sans spotlight and over months and years not moments or snapshots.

3. I crave social interaction, but I need a quotient of alone time daily
My need/want/desire to share just about every aspect of life with the people around me has all kinds of roots, with two primary causes, I'm sure. Being an identical twin has undoubtedly formed my collaborative nature. Since my brief stint in utero, I've had the opportunity to check ideas and bounce things off another human being. I can just imagine those conversations "Dude, what do you think these things are? There's 5 of them, wait, there's 5 on this side and 5 on the other one. By the way, what do you think it's like out there?"

The other major factor was having to begin the school year at a new school no less than 6 out of 12 grades. You're either going to succeed as a social animal or become invisible and fade into the lockers. It is well-documented that I was a high school loser, but at least I got noticed, but I digress.

We saw several through hikers on the trail and they were moving. These guys with a couple of months growth on their 20-something jawlines would barely look up at us when they passed. They were always alone and more than a little bit creepy. As it turns out, some of their lack of social skills might owe to an insane "through hiker thing" known as the Connecticut Challenge. I'm not sure which sadist dreamed up this notion, but the Connecticut Challenge is to hike all 53 miles of the Appalachian Trail that cross the state in one day. We assume that success is based on a 24-hour period as a day, because we're essentially talking a double marathon up and down hills without over-enthusiastic volunteers passing out water every mile or so. Every hill is heartbreak hill for these loons (without the Wellesley College students).

But also, a lot of these guys seem to be through hiking solo. Our group agreed that A. we're not sure we'll ever be through hikers and B. we could not do it alone. Even Bill Bryson needed Stephen Katz. I really enjoyed hiking with four other guys, two of whom I knew well to begin with and two of whom, I really got to know on the trail. Five was the right size and we had the right guys. But it's another one of those trail surprises. When you're hiking with four other people, you are virtually never alone. Not to be graphic, but even life's typically private moments occur in close proximity to your trail buddies. Enough said. There is no commute (however short) where you're in your private bubble of a car. There are no errands to run alone (filtering water requires a minimum of three people). The entire time spent on the trail is spent together. One always has the option of hiking ahead or dropping back from the group, but that's a span of no more than 100 feet either way. You kind of have to stick together.

At one point I admitted to Doc that I didn't mind being deterred from sleeping in the shelter with Creepy Paul (as we came to call a through hiker who was all too willing to shove over and let us join him in the cramped AT shelter one night) and that I was actually kind of happy to sleep in my tent because it afforded me a few moments of isolation from the group. He responded quite naturally, "Oh so you're an introvert (we were still getting to know each other at that point)." I laughed and said no, that I am an undeniable extrovert, but that one of the requirements (call it a survival tactic or a coping mechanism or whatever) of that for me is that I have to be able to get alone for a portion of each day and occasionally in longer chunks of time. I lose my effectiveness as a social animal if I can't shut it off for a little bit from time to time.

Now I'm not sure this was some deep self-revelation on the trail. I already knew this, but it manifested itself in this sort of silly way. What brought me comfort was the separation offered by a very thin piece of nylon that created my own space. We could still hear everything coming from each other's tents: Pretty Boy checking emails on his Blackberry, Doc's updates about his FB status updates, Pouch's groaning and complaining about his impending demise and the Kid's snoring. Even so, the tent was this refuge. Everything we carried into the woods went into the tents with us, save our food which was strung up in a tree to prevent bears from devouring us in our sleep (try closing your eyes on that note!). So there was this all-encompassing self-sufficiency to that space. Everything was within arm's reach. My sleeping pad was comfortable and it was so gratifying to close the zipper and know my eyes were not far behind as sleep came readily on the trail after that first fitful night. After 14-15 hours enjoying the group, it felt good to have space that was only mine. It was refreshing to have those few moments.

I enjoy a solo day hike as one of those longer periods of isolation that I need from time to time, but I would never have undertaken this challenge alone. I just needed to get away from those guys for a moment or two each day to tackle the next.

4. I can miss the forest for the trail if I'm not careful
Here is a dirty little secret about the Appalachian Trail for those who have heard of it, but not hiked it. As romantic as it sounds to have a trail that runs from GA to ME, as storied as the creation and maintenance of it is, after a mile or two, the AT can become a bit monotonous. There are wonderful views (perhaps twice a day on a 10-mile section), but for the most part, it is a trail in the woods. In order to be effective at making mileage, you have to get into a zone where each part becomes like the next and you make your way on the trail. I've mentioned elsewhere that our group would actually go some 40 minutes sometimes without uttering a word to each other. In part, this is because there was nothing noteworthy on which to comment.

In this way, the trail can lull a hiker to sleep. Because of the unchanging surroundings at eye level and the constantly changing terrain for the feet and legs, it is easy to let your focus narrow to the foot or two of trail in front of you only. Most of the time, you don't miss a thing. But plenty of times, you can miss some critter in the woods, a unique rock formation, or some other rarely seen element of God's creation.

The other thing is that the tasks of the trail demand your attention. One morning, we were filtering water near our campsite, right on the banks of the Housatonic River. We were pretty trail-worn by this point, so we were primarily focused on the task at hand. One of us pumping the filter, another holding the rubber tubes in place under water and in the bottle, lose focus and you lose vacuum and the process takes much longer. It occured to me that under other circumstances, we might pull the car over with the family at this spot to have a picnic, it was so picturesque and so different from our normal views in the Boston, Philly and New York metro areas. And yet, none of us were looking around at the scenery, we were entranced by clean water flowing into bottles and bladders (hiking not human). Gorgeous cranes were in the water and sitting on nearby branches. The river was babbling by. It was a beautiful scene.

I recognize this tendency in my day to day life as well. I am so busy so much of the time, that I will spend lots of time, energy and focus on a task and completely miss moments of beauty and grace and perfection that occur in close proximity. In this sense, the Task List and the Trail are related. What we have to accomplish daily threatens to undermine our ability to enjoy what we could or should daily. I have been guilty of this with colleagues, community members and family as work demands mount up. I want to be sure to maintain the dual focus on what I have to do each day and what I should notice, but could miss--a child begging to read or play ball or ride bikes with me, a colleague who is celebrating or hurting, even the fruition of the work I've been doing can escape my attention for the sake of the next task if I'm not careful.

5. I should stop even attempting to multi-task
I'm not smart enough to multi-task. Just yesterday, I was attempting to talk to someone and drink coffee at the same time, and neither came out the way I had planned.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the trail is a sanctuary from the tyranny of multi-tasking that most of us bow to every day. This is true because it's impossible to do more than one thing out there. This resulted in a tremendous feeling of relaxation for me by week's end. I loved having a single focus.

I find that in ministry and in my current position (is it ministry? there's an entirely separate post), I find that there are constant demands vying for attention. The trail reminded me that I am not gifted to multi-task. I excel and feel best when I am doing one thing at one time, not five. I suspect that this is true of more people than like to admit it, but I know it's true of me. I should do what I'm doing and complete it before trying to move on. It's been interesting to try that in the office since I've returned, but is even more important at home. Parenting 101: you can not give your kids the attention they want if you're trying to accomplish something else simutaneously. I'm making the most of their 2-3 waking hours that I get time with them daily. Folding laundry and fixing the newell post can wait.

And now for what I've learned about the personalities of my fellow hikers. This is probably not fair as I have not asked their permission to do this, but then again, that's what comments are for, right?
Pretty Boy -- A coach. A comfortable, understated, confident leader. We may not always like heirarchies, but someone has to play the role of leader in any group. He was private and one-on-one with his coaching sessions, not a dirll sergeant, challenging and encouraging and did a lot of preparatory work that the rest of us didn't have to. Thanks.
Pouch -- An overcomer. I observed my brother-in-law in a new way on the trail. My previous understanding of him was simple: an easy, master delegator who always knows what to do and doesn't know failure, even on a small scale. The trail challenged him, injured him and threatened him. What I saw instead of someone who doesn't see obstacles, is someone who faced then subdued and ulitimately conquered the obstacles to persevere.
Doc -- An essential. The person I thought I vaguely knew was an athlete, a casual, quick-with-a-joke and a smile kind of guy. The person I got to know is a broadly knowledgeable, amazingly resourceful team-builder who formed an essential glue to the group. He is a credible expert, a hilarious storyteller, a supportive friend and a person you just want to be around.
The Kid -- A boy scout. The kid came extremely well-prepared with the lightest pack and a very good understanding of what it took to survive a week in the woods. He was quick to serve the group and slow to call out his own struggles--just put his shoulder down and went for it.

Ultimately, the trail was not the critical factor in my enjoyment of the hike. It was about the people that I shared the trail with and how the trail helped me to get to know all of us, including myself a little bit better.

Part 3 to come: The trail as metaphor for spiritual journey.

AT 1: The Hike as Hike

2010-09-14T06:30:00.005-04:00

It is in my typically over-ambitious nature that I plan at least three posts on the AT hike experience. The week in the woods had a profound effect on me and I think it's important to capture it from several angles. This first post, the simplest, depicts the hike itself, the physical, mental, emotional challenges of it. Post two will get into what the experience brought to light for me about my personality and the great group of guys with whom I shared the hike. The third uses the trail as an illustration of following Christ.

It is safe to say that I was a rookie among rookies in this undertaking. Thankfully, there were no grizzled Bill Dunigan-type outdoorsmen for life in our small band. Everyone was on the less-experienced side. My previous hiking exploits consisted of 1. A day hike at Redemption Rock, Fitchburg, MA, 2. A day hike along a small section of the AT on Mt. Greylock last spring and 3. A small handful of warmup hikes in my own backyard (literally, one from camp to my neighborhood, which is just beyond the Second Ridge/Hemlock Hill for all the Wonderlanders) on level terrain and of no more than three miles with a half-full pack. I was never a boy scout and my father's idea of camping was sleeping in a 15-passenger van or under a picnic table in a state park. Sleeping out one night at camp in a tent or teepee is not the same as carrying all the gear with you and leaving running water behind for a week.

So, on Tuesday afternoon, I left my car 40 miles north of our starting point, along with the other finish cars and went into the woods at Bulls Bridge, not really knowing if I was up to the demands of several nights plus one more day surviving only on what was in my pack. The pack, it turns out, was one of my mistakes. I hate to admit that it is my habit regardless of where I'm going to overpack, a pain when loading into a hotel or the home of a friend or family member. Unfortunately, this time, it was even worse as I overpacked to the point that I was carrying nearly double the weight of some of my fellow hikers. My overpacking consisted of an extra long-sleeve shirt and pair of socks I didn't end up needing, an extra pair of gloves, a stocking cap, a nylon cord that someone else had brought, a heavy leatherman I used only once, an extra pair of shoes and some pretty heavy apples, as trail food goes. Of these items, I would take the shoes, my Keens, again in a heartbeat. It was just so nice to take my boots and socks off in camp and the apples were worth the weight as they were so sweet and juicy compared with granola bars, oatmeal, horrendous instant coffee and other trail food. In terms of the extra clothing, it's important to point out that the packing list sent by our team captain consisted of the following for clothing:
1 tshirt
1 fleece (like Phil's)
1 pair of trekking pants with zipoff bottoms
2 pairs of wool socks
2 pairs of underwear
1 hat or buff

Hiking is a minimalist endeavor to be sure. I guess I have some things to learn about the simple life. My extra gear probably cost me 5-10 pounds on the trail and that makes a huge difference. The lightest load among our group was about 25 lbs. My pack weighed in around 40 lbs. and after miles of up and down hills it was extremely heavy.

Adjusting my pack was another challenge. A friend of mine leant me his Lowe Alpine pack, which was a great blessing, along with a sleeping bag that kept me toasty with Fall descending on CT at night. I had only been on the trail with it on light hikes with a light load previously. After a mile or two, it was evident that I needed to do something as a portion of the pack was punishing my neck and upper spine. Fortunately, the Kid realized that I had a very useful strap that was not even connected through its clip and it helped greatly. The rest of the week consisted of making fine adjustments to shift the pain of carrying such a heavy load. Note that I say shifting the pain. It seemed impossible to get rid of pain, but moving it to another portion of my body did bring relief. By the last day, I think I finally got to a set up that centered the weight where the experts say you want it, lower, near my center of gravity, relieving the load somewhat from my neck, shoulders, and collar bones. The early setup had these body parts in a vice grip for hours on end.

The hiking itself turned out to be very doable, not because CT is flat. The vast majority of the time we were walking uphill or climbing down. Apart from one level section of about five miles which we split over two days, it was all up and down. I owe gratitude for the ease of the hike to my three children who keep me constantly on the move and to the camp lifestyle in the summer which involves a sneaky amount of walking--because you drive nowhere on the grounds, a typical day at camp can amount to more than a mile of walking, more than most of us suburbanites tackle in a week, let alone a day.

We were afforded some terrific views. The trail felt deserted at times. Day 1-less than 5 hikers seen on trail, through hikers (hiking from GA to ME or vice versa, who wanted no part of conversation). Day 2 - same, if not less. Days 3 and 4, we came into contact with several groups of Princeton University freshmen on their outdoor orientation trip. One frustrated through hiker described the situation bleakly as he lay in an AT shelter yards from 20 exuberant Tiger fresh meat: "Every Ivy League school and the smaller sister schools have their freshmen (utter disdain in his voice) on this trail for orientation over this two-week period. There are hundreds of thousands of Ivy League students throughout these woods for like two weeks (mathematically impossible, but comically hilarious)."

Pretty Boy did a great job planning our route and though 10 miles was a challenge for a daily hike, it gave us something to shoot for and ultimately to achieve. One frustration I had was that I couldn't measure mileage on the trail very accurately at all. We did some mile-long stretches as you might expect to do on a walk by the lake at home, maybe 20 or 25 minutes, which isn't bad if you have all day to hike. Other stretches with intense terrain took us far longer. In the end, on our two full days of hiking, we averaged 1.25 miles per hour, discouraging to say the least. This included our breaks, which were much-needed and lengthy periods of filtering water from streams and brooks (and one nasty swamp).

I was surprised by how little leisure time there is on the trail. Every moment seems assigned to some task essential to the hike. Of course the hiking itself was a sort of leisure, although our group talked far less than you might expect, sometimes going 40 minutes without uttering a word. But it really was, wake up, boil water, pack up camp, eat breakfast, filter water, hike, check progress, eat at breaks on the trail--no real "lunch break", make camp, boil water, set up tents, filter water, go to bed by 9pm, repeat. The Rook cards Pretty Boy brought stayed in his pack as far as I know.

Given all this, it might be a surprise how relaxed I felt both during and following the trip. I think this owes to the lack of multi-tasking on the trail. It is nearly impossible to do more than one thing when hiking up and down mountains, carrying a huge pack and trying not to hurt yourself. That is trail multi-tasking and I can't remember how long it's been since I spent four sustained days with such single focus. I was so glad not to have email access all week and because of my service and my phone, my cell was basically inoperable in the CT woods. The off-the-grid single focus was really liberating and was the thing I missed immediately when I came off the trail.

I went in, thinking that hiking might be something I might do again, something I could really get into, but I was careful to borrow the expensive gear instead of buying it (thank you Phil Andrade for the incredible tent). It was on Saturday morning when I was home on my pillow top mattress instead of my 1.5 inch sleeping pad that I realized the most remarkable thing: I missed being on the trail. I was feeling melancholy to be sleeping in a non-bug infested soundly built house with a toilet and sink 10 feet from my very comfortable bed. Don't read anything into my marriage or family life here. I won't be going to live like a hermit in the woods any time soon, but the opportunity to get out there into nature and survive for a week with only what I carried in was a much richer experience than I ever bargained for. I think I'm in for life now. I'll get into this more in post two, but I think we should all consider how to unplug, turn off the noise and get quiet. Whether that involves communing with God or not, time off the grid is so rare in our experience these days and it is a unique gift.

America Loves a Formula

2009-05-21T17:09:00.004-04:00

So, I generally don't watch American Idol beyond the early episodes with the people who can't sing, but think they can. The same held true this year. After those early episodes, when the show is on every night for a fortnight, I lose track of when it is on and lose interest. But by last night's finale, Fox had revved up the hype machine enough that with nothing else to watch, I did tune in (or at least sit down next to Jen who was tuned in) to see who would win.

The big question that made the finale so "interesting," I use the word loosely, was that Kris Allen was the formulaic, easy to listen to, cuddly cute, eligible to lead a boy band candidate while Adam Lambert seemed most at home singing with Kiss given his unconventional look and drastically more interesting voice. The question was, would America go for the formula or the more talented performer who fits no formula?

In the words of the ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest, America Voted and...
It turns out the nation was just as mindless with this choice as they are with so many other things. I don't know if it's because we're all too busy, or all too bored, or simply too lazy to think, but I feel that most Americans, perhaps most people now, in our global culture choose the false, fake, easy formula over deep, complex authenticity whenever the choice is put to them.

We love restaurants with menus so simple and repetitive that we can order by number without looking. The economy is booming and everything's great or it's tanking and it's the great depression part II. The president is a genius or an idiot. Neighborhoods are good or bad. For that matter, the good or bad characterization gets thrown around when we discuss lots of facets of society--schools, companies, churches, entire industries, people-famous and not, ethnicities, countries, cars and houses.

What perplexes me is that I don't feel this is true among individual people that I know. I feel like person by person, most of us get that life is complicated. No situation or relationship or possession is perfect. We get the complexity of life as individuals, so why, as a crowd, do we want to boil life down to this most expected, boring, simplistic, formulaic version of itself? Why, as a society do we vote for Kris and not Adam? What compels some people to define Islam as evil, while others on the other side describe Christianity in the same way? Why is hip hop "just noise" to some and classical music a total bore to others? Why don't the classical people listen for what is compelling in a style not their own? How do we get T Pain fans to hear the genius of Mozart?

Please understand that I'm not separating myself out here. There is something I really like about ordering a coffee at Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks and knowing they'll create it with the tried and tested formula. But on the occasion that I hit the locally owned and operated Berkeley Perk Cafe for their mexican spice, it's different and wonderful. Another example is that when the Double Stuff Oreos are in the cabinet in our house, they don't last long, packaged formulaic food that they are. But it's practically a holiday when Bonnie Hepburn shows up at our house with her homemade chocolate chip cookies (thanks for doing it so much, lately!). Not even on a level with anything on a shelf in the grocery store. They're that good and handcrafted and delicious.

Why are we so likely to give in to group think rather than taking the time to think for ourselves? to examine? to probe? to step back and see something for what it is, rather than how it's packaged? I fear we're becoming a nation that can not evaluate anything and doesn't care to try to do so. I'd love to hear from you if you're in a context other than the US and whether you find this to be true where you are too.

Faith Upgrade

2009-04-13T23:01:00.003-04:00

After returning for the Summit at Ladore, I've had a theme hit me from a couple of different angles. It's a question I've wrestled with for a while. Will I ever "arrive" as a Christian or will I always have this need to take my faith up a notch? We're all very familiar with the concept of upgrades these days--to the point that if your phone is more than two years old, it is considered an antique and perhaps more appropriate to hang on the wall at Friday's with the Star Wars memorabilia than to hang on your belt any longer. We have no problem upgrading our phone or our laptop--it's just part of the march of technology. The newest, nowest and wowest is bound to feel less than when compared to the latest rage from Apple.

But I often feel less than as a Christian that I have this need to have my faith upgraded from time to time. Not that I want to plateau as a Christian, but there are times quite often when I ask myself, "How long have I been on this journey with my Savior? You would think I'd have figured more things out by now." But then having what adventure educators term a peak experience causes me to re-examine my faith, sometimes my theology, always my daily walk and see what needs to be purified further in my life. There's a part of me that wishes I didn't have to go through the pain of realizing my own spiritual shortcomings, but I find an immense amount of growth and value come out of these upgrade seasons.

A couple of recent Len Sweet Napkin Scribbles have hit this point pretty directly. If Sweet's podcast isn't on your playlist, you need to get it now--mostly 5-6 minutes in length, they are always interesting and accessible and sometimes deeply challenging. He had a quote from St. Benedict the other day--"The Spiritual Life consists of replacing one desire with another." This could sound like a one time deal, but I think this concept is one of replacing each desire in our life with another better, more perfect desire. Not once, but continually.

Sweet's most recent podcast "The Amazing Disgrace of Amazing Grace" tells the real story of John Newton and his most famous hymn. It details how Newton came to grace while working on slave ships running between Liverpool and the African continent and the South (US) in the 18th century. Sweet illustrates how most people think of this hymn and the conversion of Newton as being the story of a slaveship captain and slave trader who encountered Christ and had a radical conversion. The real story apparently is that although Newton was converted while working on a slave ship, he actually chose to captain a slave ship after he was converted. He believed he was behaving in a perfectly acceptable way, piously praying, running Anglican services on board the ship that carried slaves, all of whom were abused en route and many of whom did not see the journey through to completion. His was a respectable profession endorsed by the church. Sweet, using Newton's own words, detailed how Newton had to come to a place of understanding just how wrong this profession was after he had been saved. He needed an upgrade to his faith walk.

Cotton Presley shared a story of being saved and yet, still smoking cigarettes. He said very candidly, "Look I was saved and I had overcome alcohol and cocaine addiction with God's help. I was a Christian, I just had to wait until later to overcome that last addiction to cigarettes." He shared, comically, how he would slip verses of scripture into the cellophane wrapper of the cigarette packs and mentioned how much of the Bible one can memorize while smoking a pack a day.

So, how will it be 10 or 20 years from now? Will I still feel the need to upgrade my faith--to examine my commitment to the Lord and find out if there is anything false or less than par in my walk. I hope so. General Gowans once said something about the frustration some Christians feel that "It will take a lifetime to get to get to know God. Maybe, that's what a lifetime is for," the General said, "Maybe that's what a lifetime is for."

Submission is not a weenie word

2009-03-30T06:31:00.002-04:00

I just returned from the Ladore Lodge and Conference Center after a fantastic, challenging, exciting weekend for Salvation Army Soldiers (members) who are leaders in their local congregations. The teaching at the Summit was done by Cotton Presley, a soldier from Fayatteville, AR whose life was radically changed by Jesus Christ when he was a 35-year old alcohol and cocaine addict. Cotton's preaching drips with memorized scripture and a heavy dose of Fayateville's finest folksy phrases. He speaks clearly, directly and only what the Spirit leads him to.

I hope to share several of the lessons I learned this weekend, but sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men to blog do often go awry. So I'm starting with the part that hit me between the eyes. Submission is not a weenie word--that's a military term. Cotton was preaching on the Centurion who came to ask Jesus to heal his servant who was at home, paralyzed and suffering. The story is found in Matthew 8 if you'd like to read it for yourself. The Centurion, a Roman soldier in charge of a group of 100 soldiers, a man who had authority, was also under the authority of Ceasar. Cotton explained that submission to authority is a military term--that you must have exocia, to be authorized by someone greater than you--the right to the might. The Centurion recognized that Jesus was the greater authority and so the Roman soldier bowed his knee to the Jewish carpenter/teacher.

This was relatively easy teaching to comprehend and agree with, but then it really got to my heart when Cotton talked about those in authority over us. That we must bow the knee to whomever has been placed in authority over us--whether that person is right or wrong, good at the job they've been given to do or not. That we must submit to plenty of authorities every day if we are to honor God with our lives including the local authority who sets the speed limit (ouch). So it means that we must submit to the authority of our boss, our pastor (corps officer), he even suggested we have to submit to the authority of the young lady behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts in the morning--"May I please have a medium regular?" It requires much more strength and confidence and will to submit than it takes to do whatever we choose to do.

The miracle of healing was performed when Jesus offered to go to where the servant was and heal him, but the Centurion told Jesus he was not worthy to have such a man in his home. "Just say the word, and my servant will be healed." The Centurion understood Jesus' authority and that it was so great that his word would carry to heal the servant. His physical presence was not necessary.

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be submitted to Christ's authority today.

The Rest of the 40 books

2009-03-06T05:57:00.002-05:00

So I've been hoping and planning wishing to post my thoughts on the rest of the books I read last year. I've finally faced up to the fact that I'm just not going to get to it any time soon. I will eventually fill up my Visual Bookshelf, but I've got some other stuff I want to post on and I have a block about writing those until I complete this series of posts/notes somehow.

So I'm sharing the book titles as list only and then I can write on some other topics including a recent experience visiting a museum in a Rascal electric scooter.

15. Knowing the Face of God by Tim Stafford
16. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (audio)
17. Little Children by Tom Perrotta
18. Heart Talks on Holiness by Samuel Logan Brengle
19. The Appeal by John Grisham (audio)
20. UnChristian by David Kinnaman & Gabe Lyons
21. A Resilient Life by Gordon MacDonald
22, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (audio)
23. Millions by Frank Cottrell Boyce (audio)
24. Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy
25. Clapton the Autobiography by Eric Clapton (audio)
26. Teacher Man by Frank McCourt (audio)
27. Everyman by Philip Roth (audio)
28. The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra (audio)
29. Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley (audio)
30. Transculturalism by TRACE Magazine contributors
31. New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton
32. The Teammates by David Halberstam (audio)
33. 11 on Culture: Intersecting Faith & Culture by Geoff Ryan
34. Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel
35. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (audio)
36, 7 on Sin: Rethinking the Seven Deadly Sins by Geoff Ryan
37. 5 Things Anyone Can Do to Lead Effectively by Phil Stevenson
38. No More Prisons by William Upski Wimsatt
39. The Uprising: a Holy Revolution by Olivia Munn & Stephen Court
40. The Suburban Christian by Albert Y. Hsu

BOOK 14: Shopgirl by Steve Martin (audio)

2008-11-21T06:30:00.003-05:00

How timely, with Steve Martin guesting on 30 Rock last night, that I should post his book in my 40 books in a year project today. I enjoy Martin's comedy maybe 30% of the time, mostly because he's so over the top and obvious. I know that's the joke and yet I still don't find it funny. He was good on 30 Rock, a role in which he's half funny and half serious actually makes him funnier.

I was intrigued despite my ambivalence about his comedy to see what kind of chops he had as a writer. Not bad, it turns out. I don't know that a lot of the great authors I've read this year have to look over their shoulder for Martin's shock of white hair, but he does a very good job with character development. He captures or caricatures (I really can't say for lack of knowledge) Los Angeles. And although I didn't write down quotes from this book as I was listening to it, I do remember going back to re-listen to some passages as the phrasing was that good. That's high praise for someone the world thinks of as a boisterous slapstick guy.

Overall, it's thoughtful and layered. They have turned it into a movie in which Steve Martin plays a role alongside Claire Danes. I'll be interested to see it.

WWJD about Obama?

2008-11-18T09:08:00.002-05:00

I received the following in my inbox this morning, forwarded by someone named Donald.

It's long so I'll comment here and then you can read it. Grassfire is not expressly a Christian organization, but it's pretty clear to see that it was founded by Christians. I guess this email took me aback so much, because I don't see the point or what's helpful about mounting a resistance to our democratically elected President. Even John McCain said, "He's MY President" in his concession speech.

This kind of radical (perhaps paranoid) reaction is exactly the kind of thing that freaks out non-believers and makes them think we're all hypocrites and weirdos. I think a biblical approach is to support all of our government leaders in prayer and for us to live lives of integrity. I'm not sure signing up a million resisters is what Jesus would do.

Bomb away.

>+ + Obama Resistance Update
> Grassfire.org
>
>
> Donald,
>
> Thank you so much for taking part in Grassfire's "Join The Resistance" campaign. I'm thrilled to report that in just one week, more than 100,000 citizens have
> joined the Resistance!
>
> This is great news, especially with more and more reports about the very aggressive agenda President-elect Obama has set for the first days of his administration.
>
> Obama's promised executive orders alone will shut down oil and gas exploration, push radical global warming policies and force taxpayer funded abortions. And now Obama is promising more
> massive bailouts that will further expand government power.
>
> + + Our Goal: 200,000 Resisters This Week!
>
> In order to reach our goal of 1 million Resisters by Inauguration Day, we must cross 200,000 this week.
>
> We have already begun aggressive efforts to get the word out through conservative radio, Drudge Report and other means. But I need your help to spread the word TODAY:
>
> Please forward this message to your conservative friends right now and ask them to Join The Resistance. Your friends can go here to sign:
>
> http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=13283&PID=18686067
>
> + + Update on the Obama Booklet
>
> Also, my staff is finalizing Grassfire's booklet "Living In An Obama Nation" which outlines the 21 greatest threats the Obama Administration poses to your family and our nation. I expect to have this 48-page booklet to the printer tomorrow and shipping on time before the end of the month.
>
> To request your copies or for a sneak peek inside the
> booklet, go here:
>
> http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=13279&CID=111&RID=18686067
>
> Thank you so much for taking a stand with Grassfire! Together, we can mount a patriotic, resilient, conservative Resistance to Barack Obama and the socialist Left.
>
>
> Steve Elliott, President
> Grassfire.org
>
> P.S. I have received many requests from Resisters who want more information on Grassfire's overall Resistance strategy. If you would like a more detailed breakdown of our strategy, or to give us your suggestions and feedback, go here:
>
> http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=13280&CID=111&RID=18686067

BOOK 13: Streets of Hope by Peter Medoff and Holly Sklar

2008-11-17T08:18:00.000-05:00

I had tried to read Streets of Hope previously, but this project was good motivation to pick it back up. This is the story of the rebirth of the Dudley Triangle in Roxbury. I had struggled to get through the book previously because, though the story is dramatic, the presentation here is more sociological study than emotional re-telling. Residents and community agencies came together to stop illegal dumping, arsen for profit and decades of neglect by city services. They came together at the table realizing that shared strength was the only viable route to putting a stop to everything that was tearing their community apart. They got the attention of some funders and put together an organizaion--the Dudley Street Neighborhood Initiative that would go on to rebuild the community one vacant lot at a time.

This book is a good read for anyone who is interested in an urban neighborhood making a comeback. but it was especially cool for me to know a good percentage of the people mentioned in the book. I have walked these streets and seen some of the 1300 units of housing they've added over time. I've been to DSNI community meetings as we've planned the Kroc Center and seen the richness of a diverse group of people working toward a common goal.

I encourage you to push through some of the dry early portions to read this story of triumph.

BOOK 12: Sixty Six by Barry Levinson (audio)

2008-11-13T23:36:00.004-05:00

I listened to this book by Barry Levinson, more well known for his TV and film work than as a novelist. Set in Baltimore in the late 1960's, the story feels like it happens a lot earlier than that in many respects. So much of day to day life for these 20-somethings still resembled 1950 and yet huge shifts are occuring in a layer just on top of finding their first job, settling down toward marriage or dodging the draft.

With some books I've listened to, I know right away whether to contiue listening or quit and take it back to the library. This book was a tough choice because there is a lot of cliche and some strange non-sequitirs and rabbit trails, but Levinson provides just enough hook and mystery that he convinced me to stick with it for a while longer. Then I was past the halfway point and decided to ride it out.

Since listening to Sixty Six, I've hardly thought about the book once, which says to me that though this one is a check in the completed column, it was more or less a non-entity in this experience. Unless you're a Sixties-o-phile or you're from Baltimore, don't bother with this one.

BOOK 11: The Pursuit of God by AW Tozer

2008-11-11T08:02:00.002-05:00

Reading this book was 13 or 14 years in the making. My brother, Jeff, gave me this book while we were in college and I was pursuing a lot of things other than God. Because I was in full flight mode, I couldn't read the book then. At this point in my life, it was a much more meaningful exercise.

I love Tozer's writing because he's never trite and rarely simple, but he has a great talent for being clear even when he's going deep theologically. It is evident even in his title here. A writer could not be more ambitious about his topic choice than the pursuit of God and yet, as Tozer points out, pursuing God simplifies everything. The first quote illustrates it beautifully.

"A satisfying prayer life elevates and purifies every act of body and mind and integrates the entire personality into a single spiritual unit. In the long pull we pray only as well as we live."

How I could have used a passage like this when I was busy pursuing the world back in college:

"It will be a new day for us when we put away false notions and foolish fears and allow the Holy Spirit to fellowship with us as intimately as He wants to do, to talk to us as Christ talked to His disciples by the sea of Galilee. After that there can be no more loneliness, only the glory of the never-failing Presence." p. 141

If you haven't read it yet, regardless of where you are in your walk with God, get a copy of Pursuit of God and get to work.

Halloween Humor

2008-10-22T07:41:00.000-04:00

Taking a break from the book series for some timely humor. I don't know what it is, this one just made me laugh out loud.

BOOK 10: The Blind Side by Michael Lewis (audio)

2008-10-21T08:32:00.001-04:00

The Blind Side is a remarkable story of a kid from the poorest section of Memphis being adopted by the Tuohy family. He learned to play football at the Christian high school where the Tuohy kids went. I don't want to ruin the story for anyone who loves football and underdog stories, so that's all I will say, other than that this is a worthwhile read for Orr's story, for the football insight and for the inside look at big high school and big college football.

Michael Lewis has been accused of losing his objectivity as a reporter on thsi book. Maybe I'm a sucker, but I think the story is so heartwrenching and compelling, I'd have questions about Lewis if he didn't become a supporter of the ultimate underdog in Michael Orr. Sean Tuohy (who incidentally is the color commentator for the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies) has been criticized for adopting Michael for selfish reasons. His wife was the one, if Lewis is correct, who really went after this kid because he was in need and for no other reason. I guess people can say what they want, but I don't know a lot of people who would take a kid from this kind of background into their own home. At most, it's a cocktail of selfish reasons and utter selflessness that prompted this decision a lot of people simply wouldn't make.

Great read. Great listen. A must for sports fans and fans of the underdog everywhere.

BOOK 9: This Mind in You by Bramwell Tillsley

2008-10-06T11:57:00.003-04:00

This Mind in You was written by Commissioner Bramwell Tillsley before he became General. He is one of my favorite Army preachers and this book is a compilation that was orignially a series preached in holiness meetings while Tillsley was at The Salvation Army Training School (seminary) in London. It is an examination of the mind of Christ as observed in the book of Philippians. The topic could get very heady, but the book reads like a collection of sermons featuring many accessible illustrations.

Here are some favorite passages:

WITNESS, SERVICE AND FELLOWSHIP (p. 16 paragraph 4)
"The New Testament church lived by witness, service and fellowship. The contemporary church must also teach and preach as well as serve. Fellowship is also essential for effective proclamation and relevant serving. It has been suggested that the church of our day is suffering from a 'fellowship crisis.' It is rare to find that beautiful intimacy among God's people where masks are dropped, where honesy prevails and where there is a sense of 'community' beyond the human."

I JUST STOPPED TO CRY WITH HER quoting TURKINGTON (p. 18 paragraph 5-p. 19 top)
"Somtimes just being available communicates our love for others. Dean W.D. Turkington loved to tell of the little girl who one evening was later than usual in returning home from school. 'You're late tonight,' said her mother. 'Yes,' replied her daughter, 'I met another girl who had broken her doll.' 'Did you think you could help her repair the doll?' her mother asked. 'No, mother, I just stopp to cry with her.'"

PERSECUTION IS A COMPLIMENT (p. 33 paragraph 2)
"Persecution is really a compliment, for no one persecutes an individual who is ineffective. George Bernard Shaw said that the finest compliment the world can pay an author is to burn his books. Perecution gives us the opportunity to demonstrate loyalty. It also enables us to share the fellowship of Christ's suffering. All through the New Testament there runs the conviction that to accept and endure persecution places a man in a special relationship with Jesus Christ. 'If we suffer, we shall also reign with Him' (2 Timothy 2:12)"

I USED TO BE A BASEBALL UMPIRE (p. 33 paragraph 4)
"The story is told of a man who simply stood by and listened to another man call him all sorts of unkind names. A bystander said to him, 'You are a strange fellow; the man called you all kinds of things and you just stood there and smiled until he walked away. How did you do it?' the man replied, 'I used to be a baseball umpire.'"

TRUE HUMILITY (p. 44 paragraph 2)
"True humility means knowing yourself, accepting yourself and being yourself—your best self—to the glory of God. It is a balance between thinking less of yourself than you should or thinking more of yourself than you ought."

I recommend this book, particularly to anyone who preaches on a regular basis because Tillsley choosing excellent quotations and shares pithy, poignant stories that serve well from the pulpit.

Timeout: Can't post from Disney

2008-09-29T22:50:00.000-04:00

The marketing mouse wants $10 per day for internet access, so I'm opting to suspend my series about recently completed reading and enjoy our family vacation. I'll resume the series when I return to the magical world of free internet.

BOOK 8: I, Robot by Isac Asimov (audio)

2008-09-26T22:13:00.006-04:00

I had never read any Asimov largely because science fiction isn't a favorite genre of mine, but the description sounded interesting. I have not seen the film, but highly enjoyed the book. Several discs into listening to it, I checked the copyright and was astounded that Asimov wrote this book over 50 years ago, before the PC, before many digital conveniences were a part of our lives. His vision of the future captured many specific elements of our life that have come to pass in the interim, but he also seemed to capture the psyche of westerners in the digital age in an uncanny way.

I, Robot makes a statement about the endgame of giving over too much control to a digital lifestyle. What begins as convenience becomes control and we are no longer in charge. I think his prediction or prophecy is coming to pass in some significant ways.

I highly recommend I, Robot even to the non-sci fi types like me.

BOOK 7: The Abstinence Teacher

2008-09-26T22:03:00.001-04:00

Tom Perrotta is a Boston writer who shares the story of a high school health teacher and a born again stoner and rocker. The Abstinence Teacher challenges a lot of assumptions about sinners and saints. It may be set in a small town, but it just as easily could be set in any major metro's suburb. I think that's where Perrotta really succeeds in his writing--identifying the malaise so many people feel in the suburbs and bringing out just how ready people are for any kind of excitement--all the better if it's a controversy involving sex and spirituality. His characters are believable, not cartoons. The way the two main characters here stumble into a situation together seems completely plausible and the depth he brings to their responses to the scenarios they face ought to be a curriculum for any young writers attempting write real people. Who is sinful and who is saved? is a central theme to this book.

I suppose I should give a disclaimer as a Massachusetts resident who has been accused of being a liberal--I'm sure this book might offend some believers. The portrayals of Christians and attitudes toward Christians expressed in this book are not always positive. And, in case the title doesn't make it clear, the book deals with adult themes. I found Perrotta's understanding of evangelicalism spot on and a challenge to my walk of faith. Others might call him a heretic. Ok, just don't say I didn't warn ya.

BOOK 6: The Education of a Coach by David Halberstam (audio)

2008-09-26T21:59:00.005-04:00

Bill Belichik is a puzzle to those of us who live in New England and breathe Patriots football. He is universally respected (now), I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say loved, but admired definitely. When he does press interviews on radio or television, he surrenders almost no information. All Patriots fans love what he has done for and with the team, but unlike personalities like Bill Parcells or Jimy Williams with the Sox, there is a feeling that no one knows who the man is behind the genius tag.

Halberstam did an admirable job at getting at a lot of the background information, particularly on Belichik's heritage growing up as the son of eastern european immigrants and the book chronicles Bill's dad's career as a major part of his education as a coach. Steve Belichick coached at several schools including, most famously, the Naval Academy and as a result, his son was engrossed in football from an early age.

This book gave away almost nothing personal about the coach himself, apart from his childhood. It did give significant insight into how Belichik developed his passion for and his approach to football. It shared who many of the key influences were that created this great football mind. It's also a great sort of American Dream story of the trajectory of this family from eastern europe to small Pennsylvania mining towns to Super Bowl glory.

Eric Conger did the narration. I can't find any evidence that he voiced any of the NFL Films stuff, but that's the style all the way. Hard hitting pronunciation and a gravelly tone that fit the Belichik heritage, but honestly grew tiresome after the third ofr foruth disc. Halberstam's clear and direct writing style made up for that, though and I liked the stories he chose to include in chronicling the coach.

I recommend it to any sports fan, except the Patriot haters. You'll probably hate this book. Too bad Halberstam's not around any longer to write the Education of a Cassel.

BOOK 5: Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller

2008-09-26T21:43:00.004-04:00

Donald Miller is my favorite Christian author because he doesn't write on spiritual topics from an overly churchese perspective. In Through Painted Deserts, he remixes his earlier version of the same work, Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance. It's a road book about a trip Miller took as a young man with a friend of his named Paul. Miller was escaping Houston, TX, which ends up serving as a sort of every-megalopolis USA as the opposite of what real life is meant to be. I'm a sucker for a road book anyway, but this one is particularly good. The stories are funny, almost unbelievable. It's not as good as Blue Like Jazz, but that's hardly surprising as BLJ is a book for the ages.

There are several sections of the book that I noted on the inside back cover because I wanted to remember them, but really, this book is best taken as a whole, so I'm only sharing a few pages that epitomize the essence of the book.

THE MEANING OF LIFE (pp. 75 paragraph 1 thru 77)

"I tend to think life is about security, that when you have a full year's rent, you can rest. I worry about things too much. I worry about whether or not my ideas are right, I worry about whether or not people like me, I worry about whether or not I am going to get married, and then I worry about whether or not my girl will leave me if we get married. Lately, I found myself worrying about whether or not my car is fashionable, whether I sounded like an idiot when I spoke in public, whether or not my hair was going to fall out, and all of it, perhaps, because I bought into Houston, one thousand miles of concrete and strip malls and megachurches, none of it real. I mean it's there, it's made out of matter, but it's all hype. None of the messages are true or have anything to do with the fact we are spinning around on a planet in a galaxy set somewhere in a cosmos that doesn't have any edges to it. There doesn't seem to be any science saying any of this stuff matters at all. But it feels like it matters, whatever it is; it feels like we are supposed to be panicking about things. I remember driving down I-45 a few months ago and suddenly realizing the number of signs that were screaming at me, signs wanting me to buy waterbeds, signs wanting me to watch girls take off their clothes, signs wanting me to eat Mexican food, to eat barbeque, backlit, scrolling signs wanting me to come to church, to join this gym, to see this movie, to finance a car, even if I have no money. And it hit me that, amid the screaming noise, amid the messages that said buy this product and I will be made complete, I could hardly know the life that life was meant to be. Houston makes you feel that life is about the panic and the resolution of the panic, and nothing more. Nobody stops to question whether they actually need the house and the car and the better job. And because of this there doesn't seem to be any peace; there isn't any serenity. We can't see the stars in Houston anymore, we can't go to the beach without stepping on a Coke bottle, we can't hike in the woods because there aren't any more woods. We can only panic about the clothes we wear, panic about the car we drive, sit stuck in traffic and panic about whether or not the guy who cut us off respects us. We want to kill him for cryin g out loud, and all the while we feel a need for new furniture and a new television and a bigger house in the right neighborhood. We drive around in a trance, salivating for Starbucks while that great heaven sits above us, and that beautiful sunrise is happening in the desert, and all those mountains out West are collecting snow on the limbs of their pines, and all those leaves are changing colors out East. God, it is so beautiful, it is so quiet, it is so perfect. It makes you feel, maybe for a second, that Paul [his travel companion] gets it and we don't - that if you live in a van and get up to see the sunrise and cook your own food on a fire and stop caring about whether your car breaks down or whether you have fashionable clothes or whether or not people do or do not like you, that you have broken through, that you have shut your ear to the bombardment of lies that never, ever stop whispering in your ear. And maybe this is why he seems so different to me, because he has become a human who no longer believes the commercials are true, which, perhaps, is what a human was designed to be.

It makes sense, if you think about it. I mean we stood out in the desert this morning, and the chemicals in my brain poured soothingly through the gray matter, as if to massage with fingers the most tender part of my mind, as if to say, this is what a human is supposed to feel. This is what we were made for, to come alive; like fairy dust, making trees and cacti and humans from the magic of its propulsion. It makes me wonder, now, how easily the brain can be tricked out of what it was supposed to feel, how easily the brain can be tricked by somebody who has a used car to sell, a new perfume, whatever. You will feel what you were made to feel if you buy this thing I am selling. But could the thing you and I were supposed to feel, the thing you and I were supposed to be, cost nothing? Paul seems to think so, or at least he acts as if this is true. He doesn't want to sit in a hotel room and catch up on the news. He doesn't want to rifle through the sports page and make sure the team he has associated his ego with is doing well. I don't think he is trying to win anything at all. I just think he is trying to feel what a human is supposed to feel when he stops believing lies. And maybe when a person doesn't buy the lies anymore, when a human stops long enough to realize the stuff people say to get us to part with our money often isn't true, we can finally see the sunrise, smell the wetness in a Gulf breeze, stand in awe at the downpour of a magnificent twenty thousand foot waterfall, ten square miles wide, wonder at the physics of a duck paddling itself across the surface of a pond, enjoy the reflection of the sun on the face of the moon, and know, This is what I was made to do. This is who I was made to be, that life is being given to me as a gift, and that God is doing these things to dazzle us."

BOOK 4: A Song Flung Up to Heaven by Maya Angelou (audio)

2008-09-26T20:39:00.005-04:00

I stated up front that when I listen to audio books, I only listen to unabridged versions. I particularly like it when books are read by their authors and in the case of an autobiography, listening to Maya Angelou read A Song Flung Up to Heaven was a special privilege. In the interest of full disclosure, when I took this book out of the library, I had no idea that the singular Ms. Angelou had written multiple autobiographies. This one, though chronicled a lot of her early work with the NAACP, the civil rights movement and her friendship with and admiration for both Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have a sense that reading this book might be a very different experience as the poetic prose might be too much in print in some cases. The style works in this medium and is enhanced by Angelou's varied sometimes sing-s0ng modulation of her voice. Her sense of humor, experience with people of so many cultures and her descriptions of critical moments in the life of Harlem and our country kept this book always interesting.

I learned a lot about the important life of this complicated American and want to read more of her work. I recommend A Song Flung Up to Heaven. If you have the opportunity and the inclination, listen to it instead of reading this one.

BOOK 3: A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren

2008-09-25T07:49:00.005-04:00

If there was a single book that motivated this project, A Generous Othodoxy by Brian McLaren fits the bill. I had started this book before the goal was born, but I had not gotten deep into it and the book had been on my shelf for just about a year. I commited to reading it during my morning devotions and it was a very rich experience. McLaren combines on point thoughtfulness and thoroughness with an ability to communicate clearly, directly and in a winsome, inviting way. I think he may be the most important communicator of the gospel alive today (that ought to elicit some comments, I'm sure).

The full title of the book includes the following subtitle: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN. I enjoy the exhaustiveness of McLaren's approach in this book. He goes after the hard questions and successfully contemplates the duality of being in the world, but not of the world. Accessible stories accompany deep theological assertions. Practical, doable suggestions support heady concepts.

I have begun a new practice of recording page numbers with significant passages for me in the back cover of books I own. In that way, I have a personal index to return to later if I know I read something particularly good by an author or in a specific book. Rather than searching through pages of highlighted passages, I can turn to the back cover for reference. This will also allow friends who may borrow a book of mine to encounter the material in a fresh way without my highlights and scribbles to distract them.

Here are a few of my favorites. I've included Google books links in the headings if you want to read it as it appears in the book.

FORGIVENESS (p. 95 paragraph 3, sentence 3 thru top of p. 96)
“Forgiveness without conviction is not forgiveness: it is irresponsible toleration. It doesn't lead to reconciliation and peace; it leads to chaos. (Ask any third-grade teacher who tolerates her rowdy students but never convicts them by naming and addressing their misbehavior.) Conversely, judgment without mercy is not salvation, but condemnation. It doesn't lead to reconciliation and peace; it leads to alienation. The Good News of salvation is that Goid sent Jesus not to condemn but to save; to save by bringing justice with mercy, true judgment with true forgiveness. First by exposing our worng (judging) so we can face our wrong and turn from it...and then by forgiving our wrong, God intervenes and breaks the chain of cause and effect, of offence and alienation, so we're truly saved--liberated, recued--from teh vicious cycle (aka mess) we created.

A RING OF SELFISHNESS, GREED, LUST... or THE TURTLE STORY (p. 98)
Some people I know once found a snapping turtle crossing the road in New Jersey. Snapping turtles are normally ugly: gray, often sporting a slimy coating of green algae, trailing a long, serrated, gator-like tail and fronted by massive and sharp jaws that can damage if not sever a careless finger or two. This turtle was uglier than most: it was grossly deformed due to a plastic bottle top, a ring about an inch and a half in diameter that it had accidentally acquired as a hatchling when it, too, was about an inch and a half in diameter. The ring had fit around its midsection like a belt back then, but now, nearly a foot long, weighing about nine pounds, the animal was corseted by the ring so it looked like a figure eight.

My friends realized that if they left the turtle in its current state, it would die. The deformity was survivable at nine pounds, but a full-grown snapper can weigh 30. At that size the constriction would not be survivable. So, they snipped the ring. And nothing happened. Nothing.

Except for one thing: at that moment the turtle had a future. It was rescued. It was saved. It would take years for the animal to grow into more normal proportions, maybe decades. Perhaps even in old age it would still be somewhat guitar-shaped. But it would survive.

A ring of selfishness, greed, lust, injustice, fear, prejudice, arrogance, apathy, chauvinism, and ignorance has similarly deformed our species. When I say that Jesus is Saviour, I believe he snipped the ring by judging, forgiving, suffering, dying, rising and more. And he’s still working to restore us, to lead us, to heal us. Jesus is still in the process of saving us. Because I have confidence in Jesus as Savior, I’m seeking to be part of his ongoing saving work, sharing his saving love for our world.

A TRUTH GREATLY REDUCED from WALTER BRUEGGEMAN (bottom p. 145 thru top 146)
The gospel is a truth widely held, but a truth greatly reduced. It is a truth that has been flattened, trivialized, and rendered inane. Partly, the gospel is simply an old habit among us, neither valued nor questioned. But more than that, our technical way of thinking reduces mystery to problem, transforms assurance into certitude, revises quality into quantity, and takes the categories of biblical faith and represents them in manageable shapes….There is then no danger, no energy, no possibility, no opening for newness!...That means the gospel may have been twisted, pressed, tailored, and gerrymandered until it is comfortable with technological reason that leaves us unbothered, and with ideology that leaves us with uncriticized absolutes.

Though the last one is not original McLaren, it is indicative of the kind of quality scholarship that he includes and references throughout. I could go on with some others, but that's probably enough.

Without a doubt, I recommend this book to anyone whether you believe in Jesus as the Savior of the world or not. This book is that good and is the definitive statement of what Christianity could be today.

BOOK 2 LA Confidential (audio)

2008-09-24T22:29:00.007-04:00

I can't really say what compelled me to borrow LA Confidential by James Ellroy from the library. Maybe, I had fuzzy memories of the film with Danny DeVito, Kevin Spacey and Russell Crowe. I generally hate noir and in the end, this book holds to form in that way. It explores very dark portions of the human spirit. The Ed Exley character and Wendell "Bud" White, the role played by Russell Crowe in the film version, are compelling and complicated figures. I found myself disliking everyone in this book at one point or another.

I guess the trouble was that by the time I figured out that this book was unpleasant for me, it was too far into it. I had invested several hours of listening time and didn't want to turn back. Perhaps I should have. The overwhelming prevalence of sadness and emptiness in this narrative ultimately left me wishing I had never gone for it in the first place.

Probably bad form to do this on book #2 out of 40, but I can't recommend this book, too much heaviness and void and not enough to make it a book worth reading.

50 Books in a year, or as it were, 40

2008-09-23T17:18:00.002-04:00

Last year on my birthday, I set a goal to read 50 books before my next birthday. My father did it while I was growing up and looking around at the many books that had sat on shelves at home, I wanted to try to accomplish this. I also realized that I simply don't spend enough time reading, so I set out on my quest. I did not, in fact, reach the goal of 50, but completing 40 books this past year means I far outpaced anything I've done recently, probably ever.

A couple of points about how I calculated books I've "read:"

1. I had started reading a few of the books before my last birthday. I counted any books that I had finished. This was helpful as it motivated me to finish some books I hadn't previously been able to get through.

2. I counted audio books that I listened to primarily on my commute. I know the purists may not like this approach, but for what it's worth, I only borrow unabridged audio books from the library and this is a vastly better way to spend my commute than the other available options. As I note them here, they will be listed with (audio).

3. I tried to read a variety of books, but did not lay out a plan of so many biographies, so many novels, so many non-fiction books. I just kind of felt my way along as I was finishing one or two books (I read more than one at a time, another trick from dear old Dad), I'd figure out what to pick up next.

4. I'll also be adding my thoughts on the books to my facebook virtual bookshelf. Same thoughts here as there, but if you'd rather check it out on facebook, well, there you go.

5. This is not the last time I'll do this. On January 1, 2009, I'll restart the year with the goal of 50 books and perhaps, more of a plan.

In theory, my next 40 blog posts will be thoughts and perhaps some favorite quotations from the books. Also, in theory, this will take place over the next 40 days. Where possible, I'll link the title to the Amazon or Google Books page (whichever has more info) where you can preview the book for yourself. What will Google do next?

So here goes, BOOK #1 Mystic River by Dennis Lehane (audio)

I had seen the movie and jarring as the story was, it was compelling and I thought Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon and Tim Robbins did an amazing job. As movies go these days, the character development was deep, the story pulled me in and kept me throughout the two hours plus. No surprise given that Clint Eastwood directed it, I guess. I had heard the book was better.

So, as I was reading it, I was picturing Sean Penn as Jimmy Marcus, Bacon as Sean Devine and Robbins as Dave Boyle. Lehane's East Buckingham is a blend of several Boston neighborhoods, but he does a great job of capturing the ethos of poor and working class families in Boston. The character development goes even deepr as it's never 100% clear who the good guys and bad guys are.

The book tackles questions like whether people ever change, ever evolve and the question of our childhood shaping the rest of our lives. The book has an air of inevitability about it, that as a person of faith, I don't know if I buy entirely, like every tragic event that transpires was set in motion years before. I like to look at it more in the context of "there but for the grace of God, go I." I think this is especially true in that my dad's upbringing was not far off from the Marcus family in East Buckingham. My grandfather was a fruit peddler in Somerville and other Boston neighborhoods, the Marcus family had a convenience store. Other similarities exist, but my father bears no resemblance to Jimmy Marcus, but for the grace of God.

I recommend this book and will read other Lehane books as a result of reading this.

Working Weekends?

2008-09-08T07:01:00.002-04:00

I don't exactly know where it started, but I've always had an aversion to working on weekends. In college, I observed a practically religious No Work on Weekends policy. Notice it was practically religious and not actually religious. It's an important distinction because, generally and during that time of my life, this cessation of work has nothing to do with the observation of any Sabbath. However, I would put my devotion to "rest" on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays up against the most devout monks and rabbis. On Friday afternoon I would attend my last class of the week and literally would not have any plans to do anything academically productive until (rather late) Sunday evening. This might have been an admirable quality if I had been half the student my brother and sister-in-law, Jeff and Paige, were during the week. I wasn't, enough said. One disastrous semester, I had all of my classes on Tuesdays and Wednesdays save one Child Psychology lecture class on Fridays (translation: show up and be counted, but have no fear of a discussion arising to expose just how far behind you are in the reading.) I would put the books away on Wednesday at dinner time and literally not pull them out until dinner on Monday night to cram for Tuesday. Every week, at least early in the semester, I would promise myself that I'd even out the workload, but I never managed to do so. Incidentally, I don't recommend the two-day week, five-day weekend model. As free as I might have felt on a Thursday afternoon, I felt twice as terrible during manic Monday through Wednesday nights.

I have had to work on a Saturday or Sunday with different levels of consistency during my professional life. When I taught, I would invariably have papers to grade or lessons. Even then, I did as much of that work before leaving school on Friday or late on Sunday as possible so as to leave the largest manageable amount of free time in the middle of the weekend. When I was in campus ministry, our biggest gathering and one of my major responsibilities was a monthly praise meeting on Sunday evenings. When we were at Central Citadel, Sunday was the command performance of the week, preaching and teaching in the morning and ministering and counseling from lunch often through 3 or 4pm.

My work now doesn't so much necessitate working on weekends, but even so, I often leave on a Friday afternoon with plans (or at least thoughts and intentions) to pull out the laptop at some point in the weekend and work for two to three hours on something--a budget task, new content for the website, some portion of a writing task our team is working on. I bring the laptop home every night regardless of whether or not I plan to do work. I guess it's a security blanket for the modern era. I rarely find I can bring myself to actually pull the laptop out. I don't have a lot of guilt around this as my weekends are now dedicated to three children--bike riding (Riley's really got the two-wheeler down now), creative play, reading to one or all of them, etc.--the stuff of life, stuff I wouldn't trade for anything. There are also the obligations of birthday parties, laundry, mowing the lawn, etc. Somehow, though, I allow guilt to creap in on Monday mornings because I didn't work on that task for at least a little bit of time. So I come in very early on Mondays and try to "catch up" on work I didn't do over the weekend.

I guess I'm trying to figure out if I'm the only one. Do you do discretionary (I don't have to, but I should) kind of work on weekends, or do you leave it for Monday? Do you have to work on weekends because that's when your shift is or because you're a pastor? When do you find your weekends if this is the case? How do I check the guilt? Is pulling out the laptop late on Saturday after everyone goes to bed the only way? Is that healthy? Where is the sabbath in all of this?

Sleep!

2008-09-04T07:55:00.005-04:00

Who needs sleep?
Well you're never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep?
Tell me whats that for.
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you're getting,
there's a guy who's been awake
since the second world war

--Barenaked Ladies

So, after 7 months (the last 3 of which were at camp), Luke is finally sleeping through the night. We might have been able to accomplish this feat a lot earlier--he is our third child after all, but it was especially difficult with him sharing our bedroom and sleeping twelve inches from the foot of our bed in the staff cabin. We went for the quick fix and whatever would comfort him, rather than making the sacrifice of 90 minutes of sleep one night for the sake of more rest thoughout the summer. But now that we're back at home, he's in his own room in a crib, not a pack and play and it has really been going well.

It's amazing how not sleeping changes one's quality of life. It is also incredibly freeing to know that (more or less) when your head hits the pillow, you will be able to sleep uninterrupted until the alarm clock goes off and you hit the snooze bar. I wake up (and go to bed) with a totally different outlook. And it's only been two days of this fantastic phenomenon.

I really just intended to write this post to celebrate Luke sleeping through the night, but it's hard not to notice the significance of going for the quick fix rather than making the necessary and effective sacrifice. Maybe it's because I'm reading Olivia and Stephen's Uprising right now, but I couldn't miss that connection. Why do we do that? Why do we so often choose the easiest, fastest fix instead of putting the work into doing things right the first time? Perhaps, I should not say "we" in those questions. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. I'm pretty sure I'm not, though, as someone in my family once remarked while telling a story about some kind of recent blunder a sentiment like this, "Of course I'm a Forster, so I tried to fix the situation in the most convoluted hardest way possible instead of taking the most direct and effective action." I'm wondering though, maybe it's not a Forster trait, but rather a human trait, a fallen characteristic? Paul said "I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."

When we know what is right and do not follow that path, it is called sin and it leads to pain (and death). In my case, it lead to more and more sleepless or at least sleep deprived nights. The gift of salvation is free to us and yet, so often we leave it unopened under the tree. Or worse, we try to accomplish our salvation on our own. More questions than answers here, but when I wake up refreshed tomorrow morning, I will remember the sacrifice that brought about that feeling and endeavor to honor the sacrifice of my Savior that allows relief, release, reprieve and refreshment.

Snooze Bar - My friend, My Nemesis

2008-06-23T08:07:00.010-04:00

Every morning from
deep dark sleep
The clock brings me to life
with beep beep beep.

I keep it close,
don't want to stretch too far
So I can always reach
my good friend, snooze bar.

Time to start the day
but I don't want to yet.
another few minutes
and I'll be all set.

Will the world really stop?
Is that much on the line?
If I just close my eyes
for another nine?

Snooze bar, my friend
you are the best
Thank you for the gift
of a bit more rest.

I sleep perchance to dream,
but wait.
How in the world did
it get so late?

I had set that alarm
because I had to get up
I preset the coffe maker
Should have already had a cup.

I have a meeting
things to do
Now I'll miss them all
thanks to you.

How could you do this
to me evil snooze?
Do you know how much
I stand to lose?

For just a bit more sleep
a few more Z's
Can you do me a favor
can you help me, please?

The next time I push your buttons
and want to sleep for a while.
Could you lie a little low?
Keep a low profile?

Snooze, what to do
with your lazy ways?
Shall I cut you loose
try to start my days
with a mean alarm clock
sans the nap feature?
I'm afraid that won't do.
I'm too much of a creature
of habit to live without
nine minutes of bliss.
So I'll stick with you.
Meetings I may miss.

C'est la vie or at least
C'est l'homme.
My friend, snooze bar,
we have a happy home.

The Office is back and Kelly is Crazy in Love

2008-04-10T08:51:00.001-04:00

Found this through the Office Alliance podcast. Props to 4am insomniac for this great tribute to The Office's craziest lover, Kelly Kapur.

The DVR is set for tonight. Can't wait.

The New Friendship

2008-04-08T07:23:00.000-04:00

WARNING: The following are not necessarily unique thoughts and are not only my own.

But have you noticed lately that friendship has changed? I now have a facebook page. I successfully resisted joining the friendster, myspace, linked-in and other social network revolution, but the facebook wave was overwhelming. I was caught up in it.

Facebook is accomplishing many things, I think, more successfully than a lot of its predecessors. It's got great mobile access. It's up to the minute. You can hug someone, hit someone, bite someone or give them a latte. That is changing the world, for sure. But it has also succeeded in watering down an extremely watered down concept: friendship.

My friend, Bill and I regularly talk about the fact that now that facebook has spread to all generations and is being used as a corporate networking tool in addition to a personal one, it's high time facebook offer some options beyond friendship. I would like to colleague some people instead of friending them (a new social network verb: to friend). Heck, there are people, I would feel totally fine labeling an acquaintance, but friend seems the wrong term entirely.

One of my favorite aspects of facebook is that through it, I have finally connected with some very good high school friends with whom I haven't spoken since the Circle Line docked at the end of our post-graduation cruise around Manhattan. But even that connection begs the question--if I spoke to someone every single day during high school, then haven't even said hi in roughly 17 years, should they be a facebook friend. Maybe they should be a facebook old friend, past friend or I thought we were friends, where have you been for the last 17 years? Is it fair after such frienship delinquency to pick up the conversation where we left off and declare ourselves friends?

John 15:13 says:
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
Not to be impertinent, but do you think Jesus meant facebook friends or only real live friends?

I recently read that most people can only manage 150 meaningful relationships in their lives. Ok, so what's the big deal? I guess it's that it is very difficult to actually do friendship in light of jobs, families, home responsibilities, dog walking, personal time, physical fitness. There's a lot of demand on our time and it seems irresponsible to label people who are not close enough to actually be friends as friends. Maybe it's because some people feel closer to us than we to them. I'm sure there are people I have friended who would have much rather colleagued me, acquaintanced me or flat out ignored me as a friend. It's kind of like the youth group basketball night I went to in high school with some friends, where they played ball the same way everyone does, except they didn't keep score so no one could lose. Or win for that matter.

I don't expect the geniuses who created facebook to change based on my opinion, but I'd love to know what you think. By the way, I have 230 friends as I write this blog.

Have we seen the Promised Land?

2008-04-04T07:12:00.001-04:00

So today marks 40 years since the world lost Martin Luther King, Jr. to senseless violence. With recent conversations going on about Barack Obama and Reverend Wright and with my experience in the Dudley community, a question keeps coming up for me. It's put in sharp relief today as I consider King's last speech in Memphis, as his life was clearly under threat. Particularly, his fearlessness comes out in his concluding paragraph when he said the following well known words:

"Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."

I think the country and the world were at least interested in going to the mountaintop in 1968. Now I should clarify. I think MLK is referencing both the spiritual mountaintop and the earthly mountaintop of racial equality. I think his view of the Promised Land is a heavenly one and an earthly one. He says earlier in the speech as he is running through all the epochs in time and all the places he could live and saying he wouldn't stop in Egypt or Jerusalem, etc. He says:

"But I wouldn't stop there. Strangely enough, I would turn to the Almighty, and say, 'If you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the twentieth century, I will be happy.' Now that's a strange statement to make, because the world is all messed up. The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land. Confusion all around. That's a strange statement. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century in a away that men, in some strange way, are responding — something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising up. And wherever they are assembled today, whether they are in Johannesburg, South Africa; Nairobi, Kenya; Accra, Ghana; New York City; Atlanta, Georgia; Jackson, Mississippi; or Memphis, Tennessee — the cry is always the same — 'We want to be free.'"

I think he's right that at that moment of time, there was a lot of attention, a lot of overdue outrage, a lot of the right kind of work being done to overthrow injustice. And great success came from that unified conscience and unified work.

What worries me today about America and I see it particularly in my own city of Boston is that there is a polite denial going on that there are still very grave racial injustices in this country. Only today, instead of outrage at the racial injustice, there's outrage at Reverend Wright and overtones that Obama should denounce him too (or maybe he has to reject him according to Hillary).

Here's just a small slice of what that racial injustice looks like on a national scale:

8% of african-american men under 29 have graduated from college while 17% of same-age white males and 35% of asian males have done so.
More than double the percentage of young african-american males is unemployed (19.5%) compared to whites (7.9%), hispanics (8.0%) and asians (7.9%).
The prison percentages are staggering. 10% of african-american young men (1 in 10) are in prison compared with 1.5% of whites and 3.6% of hispancis.
While african-american young men reepresent 14% of the general population, they represent over 40% of the prison population.
(Source: http://www.kff.org/minorityhealth/upload/7541.pdf)

There are more stats than that having to do with obvious eonomic imbalances, death rates and other health related issues, but I think the points above are enough of a portrayal of injustice, to make the point.

Boston remains a city that is segregated in a de facto fashion. No laws proclaim it, no signs are hung, but forces stronger than signage or laws prevent the city and the surrounding metro area from being truly integrated. I think what bothers me the most about this situation is the constant polite silence regarding the disparities and seperation. It seems to me that no one is talking about it. Very little effort is being made to cross the lines. And no one is outraged.

I think America needs a new civil rights movement. It has to be a movement toward interaction and understanding, not simply a way to control behavior. With all of its world class institutions and its importance to the history of our country, it is shameful that our city and still far too much of America is segregated with people of color enduring not fair and unequal.

Will this bubble up to the consiousness of America? What did MLK and all of those who stood with him accomplish? What remains to be accomplished and who will sound the call? More importantly, who would follow?

Luke Andrew

2008-01-28T10:13:00.000-05:00

I guess I should have followed up with another post to let everyone know that all of the details and the all-important pictures are on our family photo blog.

www.forsterfamilypics.blogspot.com

Thanks for all the well wishes. Everyone's doing fine.

9 Months for 100 Reasons

2008-01-19T06:25:00.001-05:00

So we've been in the hospital since Thursday night. 35 hours at time of writing. It looks like Luke will be here within the next 2 hours. He's been taking his sweet time and testing his mother's patience. Just another addition to my theory that our kids are real, living beings--think about how much they alter our behavior--long before the sun shines on them. It could be good. This guy is going to have to be laid back to survive being the little brother of Riley and Sydney.

While Jen tries to squeeze in a few winks before the big event, I'm keyed up. I can't wait to meet him, to hold him, to feel his fingers and his toes. I think God gives parents 9 months for 100 reasons. Topping that list right now is that He wants us to know what gifts our children are from the get-go. He wants us to feel that anticipation of arrival. The anticipation sets us up to appreciate the miracle gift, way beyond Christmas morning and parallel with our wedding day. Right now, nothing matters but that anticipation. Exhaustion doesn't matter. The details don't matter. The onslaught of visitors over the holiday weekend doesn't matter. And I love that, that for a few moments here, my only job is to be sure that Jen is ok and to look forward to the celebration of birth.

With a Name Like Huckabee, It's Gotta be Good!

2007-11-20T10:17:00.001-05:00

I have no idea who he is politically, but I'm about to find out because anyone who can a) Laugh at himself to this extent b) sit next to Chuck Norris with a straight face and c) run for President with a name like Huckabee deserves a look. He doesn't have my vote, but he sure has my interest piqued.

A doctor, an artist, a teacher

2007-11-07T06:01:00.000-05:00

Recently, in a quiet early morning moment with Riley, I decided to get an update on the all important childhood question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" She said, "I don't know, I think a doctor, an artist and a teacher." This was a slight departure from her previous standard answer of a "firefighter, a clown and a mommy." The doctor part was entirely new to me.

When I was about Riley's age, my standard answer to the question was "a bang bang army man." I expressed it this way, in my 6-year old English to delineate from the kind of Army person my parents were. Of course for anyone who knows me now, the idea that I would be a military man is ridiculous and quite humorous as (unlike Tim), I have never in my life fired a gun.

Riley's answer got me thinking, though. Surely at some point in my own childhood, I aspired to be an artist, at least a writer of some sort. I also figured out somewhere along the way that I had gifts and a passion for teaching. The doctor thing was never so much me, particularly given my reaction to the severe bleeding first aid movies shown in middle school health classes. Right now in what I am doing, I'm finding very little of the artist or the teacher. I see it in the future when the center opens and is a living breathing 15-hour a day thing, but right now, it's an idea that keeps me in an office far from the site where it will be built. I guess, given my meeting schedule (meetings are where imagination and creativity go to die), I'm getting a little claustrophobic given the lack of creative outlet it provides and the dirth of teaching opportunities coming my way while I do what I can to get it built.

Perhaps, this is why I'm turning back to blogging, just to have some creative outlet. John tells me he's writing. Phil's always creating something even when he's resting. My dad gets a new column every two weeks. I guess I'm just jonesing for creativity and teaching a bit. See where it takes me.

Home runs, touchdowns and a sovereign God

2007-11-06T06:43:00.000-05:00

So a coworker asked me the other day, "what's up with athletes saying that God helped them win or score in a game? Does God really care about sports like that?"

Coming up with an answer took me a bit off guard as I am an unashamed sports fan and in that I have regular conversations about faith with this friend. My best attempt was this--that athletes who are Christians want to thank God for the opportunity to do what they do and they want to be careful that all the glory for what they do goes to God.

We agreed that it's a little odd, a bit like an ad executive or a cashier at the grocery store pounding their chest and pointing heavenward after getting the big account or because you bought over $200 worth of groceries. But what about that? Are there parallels in purely secular jobs in which we can or should give God glory for an accomplishment, personal or of our team (corporate)? It certainly wouldn't look the same as it does when Big Papi hits a home run or Rosevelt Colvin causes a fumble because we don't generally do a dance or emote physically in those cases. We also don't hold press conferences when we achieve things at work, so there's less of a platform for the "I just want to thank God" speech.

I understand what a lot of athletes are saying. It goes something like this, "If I were an accountant, I would want people to know I am a Christian and I want to give God glory." Corey Simon even describes the field as his pulpit, the stadium as his church. I like the fact that he says win or lose, succeed or fail, the man that he is, the Christian that he is matters more than any play on a field.

I guess another question all of this raises for me is that of whether God backs unsuccessful athletes too. JD Drew was a much talked-about offseason acquisition for the Red Sox after he signed a $70 million contract that many thought wasn't commensurate with past performance. He's a professing Christian, but I never heard him declare that God wasn't honoring his efforts. He didn't blame God for his failure to hit the baseball. We would all hope he wouldn't do that, but beyond that, it's not like he was quoted saying, "I guess it's not God's will that I perform well on the field."

It seems contradictory that God only cares about athletes when they score touchdowns, make 3-pointers or hit home runs. Isn't God inhabiting every bit of our lives, personal or professional, successful or failing? I believe in an immanent God who is always there whether the ball bounces our way or not.

Any thoughts you might have would be appreciated.

PS Speaking of athletes of faith, I hope Schilling is right that they can work out a deal to bring him back here.

Grace to rise and follow

2007-11-01T06:17:00.000-04:00

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland whre I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen."

--A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

One Semester of Spanish - Love Song

2007-10-10T15:18:00.001-04:00

Thanks Jeff for the trip down memory lane. If you've missed this one on YouTube, check it out now.

Yankees decline wild card.

2007-10-04T12:35:00.000-04:00

The Onion nails it today with this story on the Yankees declining the AL Wild Card. Laugh out loud funny. Every baseball fan needs to read this one. Instant classic!

Go Sox!

A Truth Greatly Reduced

2007-09-25T08:35:00.000-04:00

I knew, even as I was commenting back to Larry on my last post, that I was not expressing myself as eloquently as I would have liked. There was a stronger, clearer, more pointed way to express my concern about cultures being swallowed and the danger that presents for the gospel. Enter Walter Brueggeman with this brilliant quote from "Poetry in a Prose-Flattened World" that expresses all of what I was trying to say and more:

"The gospel is...a truth widely held, but a truth greatly reduced. It is a truth that has been flattened, trivialized, and rendered inane. Partly, the gospel is simply an old habit among us, neither valued nor questioned. [It] takes the categories of biblical faith and represents them in manageable shapes...There then is no danger, no energy, no possibility, no opening for newness!...That means the gospel may have been twisted, pressed, tailored, and gerrymandered until it is comfortable with technological reason that leaves us unbothered, and with ideology that leaves us with uncriticized absolutes."

Brueggeman is focusing on the way that technical theology has reduced the gospel, but I believe that the reason for the reduction is less important than the fact of the reduction. He doesn't just report the problem and walk away. He does present a solution to the problem of this neutered gospel.

"To address the issue of a truth greatly reduced requires us to be poets that speak against a prose world. The terms of that phrase are readily misunderstood. By prose I refer to a world that is organized in settled formulae, so that even pastoral prayers and love letters sound like memos. By poetry, I do not mean rhyme, rhythm, or meter, but language that moves like Bob Gibson's fast ball, that jumps at the right moment, that breaks open old worlds with suprise, abrasion and pace. Poetic speech is the only proclamation worth doing in a situation of reductionism, the only proclamation, I submit, that is worthy of the name preaching."

Obviously, Brueggemann is focusing on the spoken, preached gospel here. I don't know that I can fully agree that poetic speech is the only proclamation worth doing in light of reductionism. I think heroic living is as worthy a pursuit A true commitment to social justice in big and small ways speaks loudly to a world that has closed its ears to the gospel, but that's not the point he's making. I think the stirring story of the gospel has to be told in a way that stirs the pot of our existence. A tolerable gospel is no gospel at all. He goes so far as to call it abrasive and well-paced. How often have you heard a sermon in the last 10 years that could be described that way? Not only are we careful not to offend those outside the church, we're so desperate to retain the remnant that we have that we won't even preach a full gospel inside the "stained glass or silk plant ghettos." (a la Morganthaler)

The church's greatest prayer for penitence must be for allowing the gospel to be reduced to an old habit. After all, we can not control the wider culture, only our own interaction with it. We can't allow the gospel to be disposable despite what our throwaway society would say about it.

Rituals in a Throwaway Society: Disposable Culture

2007-09-18T12:39:00.001-04:00

So this is the last post in the series. Sorry, it's taken me a while to complete. I think one should always write the whole series first, then post them over time rather than starting the series and trying to keep on top of it. Live and learn.

My sister Heather loves traditions. This has always been true in my memory of her and it's not surprising given the hearty stock of sentimentalists from which we come, but it really took off during her adolescence. Particularly at Christmas time during her high school and college years, Heather became so enthralled with traditions that it seemed like she invented a new one every Christmas during that decade or so. Finding out what the new tradition was each December became a bit of its own tradition. But it wasn't exactly sustainable. As we grew up and moved out of our parents' house and started our lives on our own, we had to let go of some those traditions. We especially couldn't keep adding traditions to the experience.

If traditions create culture, I wonder if the speed of our lives today has put cultures themselves in jeopardy. Obviously, throughout the course of human history, cultures have come and endured and then gone. The Aztecs, the Mayans, the Roman Empire, whole civilizations have been born, reigned for a time and slowly or instantly evaporated. I recently became familiar with a theory called Transculturalism through the book of the same name, which asserts that cultures are merging in new ways creating a new way of life that crosses cultures in unprecendented ways. The book is a collection of essays by well-traveled hipsters, many of whom are of multiple races or have had experiences living outside of their ethnic culture which have had dramatic influences on their worldview. It also deals with cultural phenomena like Cuban-Chinese restaurants and Scandinavians who enjoy hip hop. In a way, I think transculturatlism is a wonderful concept, and if true, a positive step toward understanding each other in the human experience.

The problem, as I see it in the West , (from my very Western worldview,) is that we are not truly experiencing a new crossing of cultures which takes us to a new richer culture. We are being encouraged, if not forced, into a singular culture. Although it pretends at preserving bits of lots of cultures, it mercilessly mashes traditions and the uniqueness of those cultures to a pulp, unrecognizable, vanilla and tolerable. It's done in the name of political correctness, of tolerance and anti-racism, in the name of a global marketing scheme, of simplicity.

Whatever the motives, what is effectively taking place is the disposing of existing cultures, sometimes with each passing generation, often much more quickly than that. Think of the Irish immigration to the states at the close of the 19th century. Where are they today? Do their offspring eat the same foods or sing the same songs? Think of the fact that there are more Puerto Ricans in New York than in Puerto Rico. Are they New Yorkers now--street vendor hot dog, rice and beans or bagel with schmeer? Think of the fact that wealthy Americans want to build massive castles in the suburbs that look awful and unique from the exterior, but all serve the same purpose on the interior--to allow them to gather around the same granite countertops and stainless appliances as the Joneses for a meal prior to sitting down to watch cable shows that are in some subtle way about themselves. Welcome to TLC America.

What's so amazing is that individuality is dying on the altar of a one-world culture. What unites us in our cultural groups--national/ethnic traditions, religious belief and practice, musical preference--what makes us feel part of a group is that there is something unique about that subset of humanity. If we're all becoming one big fat world culture, there will not be anything unique about any of us. Is disposable culture really disposable identity? Are we all giving in to be part of the cool kids crowd? Is there any help for distinct culture in the west? Melting pot, mosaic or masher? More questions than answers.

Take this shirt--polyester white trash made in nowhere...

Rituals in a Throwaway Society: Disposable Heroes

2007-08-13T08:35:00.000-04:00

Remember this guy? Yeah, that would be Ruben Studdard. I feel like heroes are another casualty of our throwaway culture and yet in an odd way, we are creating more heroes today than ever in history. In the past, in order to garner hero status, a person had to actually do something heroic or at least noteworthy. Julius Caesar conquered empires. Joan of Arc toppled stereotypes. William Wallace was portrayed by Mel Gibson in a movie. People actually used to do things of note in order to get notoriety.

I feel like there was this big lull on heroes following the tragic assassinations of the 1960's. Many of us grew up only with the history of heroes, great people who had come before, but did not live in our lifetimes. Yes, there are very notable exceptions--Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, Mr. T, but it seems like there just weren't enough. And at the same time, the folks who were supposed to be heroes in the previous 3 decades came up short--presidents, televangelists, industry leaders. Lots of scandal, lots of controversy, lots of fodder for SNL, but very few bonafide mentors to look up to.

Enter reality TV with a solution: if you don't have enough heroes or idols or icons, just make new ones, annually with each new season. Now we don't have to wait for someone to do something great, we can just vote for them by 888 number or text message. Poof, there's a hero. And the beauty with these guys is that if they fall off the face of the earth or it turns out they're into cruelty to animals as a hobby, no problem. Just discard your new cardboard hero, there's another one on the way any minute. Now, reality shows are making heroes out of geeks and inventors and people who think they can dance.

So the question is: in an age of declining ethics in leaders, total invasion of media into the private lives of public figures and Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, do we have any chance at seeing real heroes again? Can offices like the presidency of the US survive its current image problem? Will church leaders ever again be considered heroes outside of the church? Is celebrity the same as heroism?

Enough questions. Gotta go catch Simon Cowell's latest brainstorm: So You Think You are Smarter than a 5th Grader's Big Brother, America?

Rituals in a Throwaway Society: Disposable Relationships

2007-07-20T11:25:00.000-04:00

Perhaps no institution has suffered more at the hands of a disposable society like marriage. This is what fascinates me in this theme—is there a more ritualistic event in our lives than a wedding? Graduations & proms come close, but follow trends. Weddings do too, I guess, but the elements that make a wedding unique are timeless. Giving away the bride, the vows, the pinchably cute kids stumbling down the aisle hardly ever doing what they’re supposed to and of course "you may now kiss the bride." Those things never change.

Sadly, this topic hit home recently when I received an email from a college friend. Just last fall, Jen and I attended his wedding. He was one of the last remaining bachelors among my circle of friends and we were all happy for him. He and his bride seemed to go well together and both seemed genuinely happy. She laughed at his jokes. He looked after her sweetly. The email stated that they were getting a divorce—that they were better off as a dating couple than a married couple. It took the wind out of me. Even though they hadn’t known each other for long before they got married, they seemed to be a good match. I was so sad for him, even hearing his assurances that he was doing alright, that his professional life is going well and that he is surrounding himself with friends and family. A short marriage still has profound effects on one’s life.

I also think of so many people who have skipped the ceremony and chosen to live as a couple without the ritual of a wedding. It seems like they are hedging their bets somehow. If it doesn’t work out, at least it doesn’t mean a divorce, as if the pain of that relationship being lost would be lessened by virtue of that fact.

I heard someone on the radio the other day advocating that marriages should be considered 5-year renewable contracts. He'd been married 3 times for decent lengths of time: 9 years, 15 years and 10 years and claimed that instead of having 3 failed marriages, he'd had 3 very successful marriages that didn't last a lifetime.

How do weddings survive in the era of 50/50 marriage survival rates? I'm not asking the question "why does anyone bother to get married anymore?" I'm not questioning the instution of marriage. I firmly believe in int. It just seems amazing that the dream and the ideal seem to have changed so little while the reality has fallen apart. Clearly, it's not just a quaint tip of the cap to some nearly forgotten past. It's not just a way to collect expensive presents from longtime family friends. The question I guess I'm posing is: how has the ritual remained so substantially intact when the attitudes toward marriage have shifted so much? Is it false hope? Is it peer pressure? Is it good enough for one day but people aren't willing to do the heavy lifting to stick it out? What gives?

Stuck in your Head

2007-07-19T09:44:00.001-04:00

Taking a short break from the Rituals series to bring you this song that will stick in your head until explodes. Enjoy Tay Zonday's Chocolate Rain!

Rituals in a Throwaway Society

2007-07-17T20:25:00.000-04:00

A theme keeps emerging in a couple of recent experiences and it has me thinking, enough to have me blogging, a modern day miracle. It’s this thing about the disposable society in which we live—not that exciting frankly and lots can be said about the way technology and poor workmanship on products and our obsession with having something new have collaborated to create this lack of appreciation for things that last. However, it’s not just the throwaway nature of our world that has me thinking, it is the enduring nature of certain rituals and traditions that I’ve seen lately and I’m fascinated by how they survive this powerful trend.

So here’s where it all started. Perhaps, no single item has pushed the disposable trend more than cell phones. What other product since the industrial revolution has come with an expected lifespan of 2 years? I’ve had shoes that lasted twice that long. And I wore them every day thanks to Dr. Martin, but I digress. My phone that I’ve had for just about 2 years started to bug out on me. It’s a smart phone and all of the smart characteristics still worked. My calendar was working fine. My contacts were intact. I could search the web in my hand with ease. Only problem was that I couldn’t talk to people on the phone when they called me. I would press talk and they the caller and I could not hear each other at all. I tend to put up with problems like this longer than anyone should, primarily due to my fear that fixing the problem will cost me money. At long last, though, after more than a week of not being able to pick up my phone, except with my headset, I took it to Sprint.

If 2 years is the lifespan of a phone, than 30 minutes is the magic time limit in which any problem can be diagnosed and fixed or so they told me. In the end it took me 90 minutes, a total of 3 trips to Sprint and I had me a brand reconditioned phone. In other words, somebody else gave this one back to Sprint and they cleaned it up so it looked new and then sent it back out to some customer who was already having problems with his phone…me. The phone actually picked up and it looked new. Happily I synched it with my computer so all my data was back. I was good to go. Called Jen to tell her and she asked me why I was in a tunnel. Called another friend later on and he asked why I was banging pots and pans or constantly dropping my phone. It didn’t work any better. In the end, what I got was the latest version of my phone with new features for free. It is reconditioned of course.

All that to say that I was amazed that this gadget that some tech heads waited months for, that some engineers spent a long time creating, that software engineers spent countless sleepless nights developing is commonly regarded as disposable after 2 years. I know I’ll annoy Phil and the other appleseeds by mentioning the iPhone and all of its glitches so I won’t.

Here’s the thing. All of this happened in the same week that I went to Old Orchard Beach, the ultimate ritual of my childhood and countless others. My parents own a cottage there, which is where we stayed. My daughters slept in the room my brother and I had shared for 3 weeks every August until we were 14. I refer to Old Orchard as the land that time forgot quite a bit. The ocean and the beach never seem to change. Institutions at the Pier like Pier Fries and Lisa’s Pizza have been around for decades. Beachwear stores come and go by different names always peddling the same low quality gaudy clothing. It’s timeless in its tackiness, but it’s endearing that way too. Hard to explain to people who didn’t know this beach as the one anchor in their lives while they moved around the country every 3 or 4 years growing up. While there, I took this picture of Sydney riding the same motorcycles my brother and I rode 30 years ago. And I don’t mean the same type of motorcycle kiddie ride. I don’t mean they had something like this. These are the very ones we rode and I would guess they sit within 20 yards of where they were when I was growing up.

Summer is undoubtedly a time when these rituals hold sway, perhaps like no other season. People drive new cars to old places with the same goal in mind—relaxation, togetherness, marking time in safe and comfortable ways—the way life should be as Maine’s license plates once proclaimed. But it feels a bit random. There is no system other than marketing machines and peer pressure that say I should need a new phone in 2 years. Nor is there a system that says that a children’s ride with cartoonishly wide motorcycles spinning in the same circle should endure year after year. But they do. I find myself asking what saves Hogan’s and Dy-No-Mite from being discarded in our brave new world. And what happens to town like this when Rite Aid rolls in? What is lost when the new paves over the old? And how long can it last? This year on the beach, a guy built 4 story luxury condos next to the Pier. But he can’t sell them. I must admit I find some justice in that.

More to come.

Vote Ron Burton

2007-06-05T22:14:00.000-04:00

Ron Burton was the 1st Round draft pick of the Boston Patriots in the American Football League. He was the first running back to run for 100 yards for the Pats and had a successful, if short career. Ron was a wonderful man of faith and a Salvation Army board member. He was incredibly generous, putting on a Christmas party with the Patriots through The Salvation Army for kids in need and donating land to establish the Ron Burton Training Village, which enables at-risk youth to get opportunities to excel in football and in education through college scholarships.

Ron is up for the Patriots Hall of Fame. His wife, Joanne, still serves on the Army Advisory Board in addition to running the camp. She has asked for support as the nomination process consists of a public vote for the first time. It's simple and easy to vote at the Patriots website. Voting for Ron is a vote for a man who made his most significant contribution after his football career ended. It's important to Joanne that Ron be inducted into the Hall of Fame to prove to the young men at their camp that personal character and learning are more important than performance on the gridiron. If you have a moment, please stop by and vote for this great man.

Daisuke's Dominance

2007-05-15T09:40:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine has a clergy pass to the Red Sox and I had the pleasure of going to the ol' bandbox with him last night. It's a pretty good deal. You show up 2 hours before game time, pay $7 each and get a standing room ticket. We ended up behind home plate in very nice (read expensive) seats for the first 3 full innings. Beautiful night and a great performance from the Sox' big free agent signing this year.

But recent events in Boston, including our trip to Fenway, stir an age old question in me. On Sunday, the Sox were being shut out into the 9th inning down 5 runs with one out and no one one. By that point in the game, many of the Fenway faithful had left. The sox then proceeded to put up 6 runs and win the game on an error at 1st base. Many people missed it. Last night, Rick and I decided to leave the game during the bottom of the 8th because Matsusaka had pitched well, Papelbon was warming up and the Sox scored 4 insurance runs in that inning. We figured they wouldn't send Daisuke back out. But they did and we were on a Green Line train while he was finishing off the first (perhaps only) complete game by a Sox pitcher this season.

When I was a kid, our trips to Fenway usually included 55 of our closest friends. They were most often Sunday School or Vacation Bible School trips from Manchester, NH to reward those who came every Sunday or who attended every session of a VBS. With that big of a crowd and our vans parked at the ARC (Salvation Army Rehabilitation Center) which was near Fenway but on the exact opposite side from the bleachers where we always sat, we would ALWAYS leave before the game was over. I would agonize about that as a kid and resent my father for being so cruel as if those aluminum bleachers with no backs weren't cruel enough in the hot summer sun. Anyway, now as an adult, I have long ago forgiven my father (and understand his reasoning), but I still get a pit in my st0mach somewhere between the 7th inning stretch and Sweet Caroline thinking "oh no, I might have to leave this game early. I don't want to miss anything." So I hardly ever leave early now. Last night I did and I missed something special.

So here's the question all this brings up. Do you leave games early? How do you decide whether or not to leave early? Have you ever missed a big comeback or something special by leaving a game early? Just wondering if anyone out there shares my sports-related issues.

Portrait of the Artist as a Kindergartner

2007-05-14T08:21:00.000-04:00

Riley had 3 pieces in the Cottage Street Elementary Spring Art Show last week. She was very proud of her work and it was fun to have her walk us through how she did each of the pieces. Wait until you see her self-portrait. "My what big eyes you have" could have been the caption underneath.

Does He promise and not fufill?

2007-04-26T07:50:00.000-04:00

Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?

So I was listening to Numbers this morning in my devotions. Yes, I said, listening. I find the Pentateuch hard to read sometimes, but I gain a lot from listening to it on CD, particularly Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. A couple of years ago, my big Christmas present was the entire Bible on CD. As much as I enjoy quiet time on the couch, with my cup of coffee in the morning, I'm finding that in order to get through Numbers, I have to listen to it on my morning commute.

This morning I was listening to the oracles of Balaam. This verse stuck out to me, particularly as it was uttered by this guy who usually followed the money instead of following God's leading. It was also much needed as we are in some difficult days on the Kroc project and God knows to reassure us of exactly who He is in such moments. As I look back over the last 18-24 months as the Army has contemplated Kroc and my own involvement with it, we have come through many tough times. There have been "impossible" city bureaucracies, "untenable" real estate timing, "insurmountable" fundraising obstacles. I put all those words in quotations because God has erased those words and affirmed His promise of enlarging His Kingdom in Boston through this project time and time again.

God is on the move in some amazing ways in this city. Any time I might be tempted to doubt His plan for the center or for Uphams Dudley, I have to look at the path we've traveled to get to today. He is teaching me trust, patience, instructing us about His sovereignty, reminding us of the need for humility and that He is ultimately in control of it all. Our God is a good God and worthy to be praised. He will not promise and not fulfill. He may not fulfill on our exact schedule or to our exact specifications, but so long as we're obedient, He will fulfill to the perfection of His plans in His time. Good enough for me.

Crass or Capitalist?

2007-04-24T07:40:00.000-04:00

I know it sounds like one of Larry's post titles, but I was struck by this article about news outlets buying ad space on google and yahoo for searches about the Virginia Tech shooting. I was going to post about the number of flagpoles I saw this week at full mast, but this takes it one step further.

Read the whole article here, but here are the last 2 paragraphs:

One potential problem for news organizations is that keyword ads "can also leave you looking crass -- that you're tapping in for a business purpose on a tragedy," said Danny Sullivan, editor of the SearchEngineLand.com newsletter. "It could make some people's eyebrows go up ... 'Did you have to go after that particular term?"'

But Sullivan added that if news sites have "substantial information" to share about a search term -- even if that information is, after all, a commercial product -- "I would err on their side of that -- that it's not so bad."

Is it really not so bad? Is this any different than what news stations or even newspapers have done for years, putting together flashy logos to depict human tragedy? Is it more sinister because it involves considering what search terms people will use in order to sell your advertising? And who is making the decisions to do this? Is it the NY Times or CNN or is it Proctor & Gamble and IBM who are buying ad space both in TV land and in cyberspace? How cold have we become as a nation that we're willing to sell human tragedy and call it "not so bad?"

PLEASE NOTE: The Gunshot Google image at the top of this post is not actually from Google. I created it to drive home the point.

Old Army Sunday

2007-04-23T07:15:00.000-04:00

So we were in Manchester, CT last weekend. They were having an Old Army Sunday. I may or may not blog on the first half of the meeting. I'm a bit ambivalent about it and don't want to speak out of turn as I'm sure there were good intentions.

The second half of the service, the sermon by Lt. Colonel Joe Bassett (R) was excellent. A couple of nuggets from this God-given word.

His opener led the way: "We don't worship The Salvation Army or William or Catherine Booth. We worship Jesus Christ our Risen Savior."
He shared a longer quote from DA Carson about the Church, but this portion stuck out to me: "we're better at organizing than agonizing." He's talking about agonizing over the lost, a world dying in sin. If there's any indictment on the church that hits close to home for me right now, it's this one. If we don't agonize enough and organize too much, we're lost.
Colonel went on to talk about judgment and how people should be treated when they come into a Salvation Army worship service--whether it's a holiness meeting or a salvation meeting or any meeting. "People come into our meetings & they know the problems that they have in their lives. They don't need those problems to be pointed out to them. They don't need to be reminded of the burdens they bear. We need to be prepared to bear the burden with them without being judgmental."
He also talked about full surrender. "When God called me to officership, I siad, 'God, this is stupid.' There are times even now, all these years later, when I say, 'G what u r asking me 2 do is ridiculous.'" I thought that was one of the most honest and true statements I've ever heard about Christian service. What God calls us to do is ridiculous, that's why the cross is foolishness to the world. God's call doesn't come with a stupid-free guarantee. His grace is outrageous and sometimes he asks us to do outrageous things for Him.
I suppose I should tell you what the scripture was on which he spoke. It was Nehemiah chapter 2. Here's the quick 3 points. In Neh 2:4 God asks Nehemiah, "what is it u want?" Nehemiah has 3 answers:
2:5 to be sent
2:7 to be safe
2:8 to be supplied
God gave Nehemiah what he asked for, but that didn't mean he had it easy. Sanballat and friends didn't want Nehemiah to do this good work. God does the same for all who are called, but not necessarily in the way that we might envision sent, safe or supplied.
Here was a real stinger from Colonel Bassett. He was discussing the fact that Nehemiah stood up and fulfilled the calling God had placed on his life. That didn't mean sitting on the sidelines or hoping the wall could be rebuilt or being politically correct. This is the encouragement he gave to the congregation: "There are battles to be caused. Nehemiah, sent, safe, supplied declared war on life as it is." I think we are too small in our thinking sometimes, too safe. Notice the verb that was used--battles to be caused. We sometimes talk of battles to be fought as if we'll stumbled upon them and then do what we ought to. Are we looking for the battles we need to cause in God's name?
He followed it up with this. "There is no concern in the mind of satan about an Army that only goes through the motions. Do you cause satan much worry? How much overtime did the enemy have to do last week because of me?"

Old Army Sunday ended with people at the mercy seat (including me) and a call to prayer as we sang (not O Boundless Salvation -- they started with that one) but this:

In the Army of Jesus we've taken our stand
To fight 'gainst the forces of sin.
The rescue we go, Satan's power to o'ertrhow
And his captives to Jesus we'll win.

I'll stand for Christ, for Christ alone
Amid the tempest and the storm.
Where Jesus leads I'll follow on;
I'll stand, I'll stand for Christ alone.

We go forth not to fight 'gainst the sinner, but sin;
The lost and the outcast we love;
And the claims of our King we before them will bring
As we urge them His mercy to prove.

Jesus pitied our case and He died for our race,
To save a lost world He was slain;
But He rose and now lives, and His pardon He gives
Unto all who will call on His name.

Though our trials be great and God's enemies strong,
To battle undaunted we go,
For our warfare's the Lord's and to Him we belong,
In His strength we shall conquer the foe.

Frederick William Fry (SASB 687)

Easter 2007

2007-04-12T08:33:00.000-04:00

I can' blog, but I can take a good photo every now and again. The Easter shot for this year.

A legend pumping gas

2007-02-26T06:32:00.000-05:00

So Jen and I were out shopping on Saturday night. We needed to stop for gas, so we pulled into a station in Braintree, MA, just south of Boston. (the Mobil across for South Shore Plaza for the Bostonians reading. Is anyone reading this?) At the pump in front of us was a silver Toyota RAV4. A guy gets out wearing a non-descript winter jacket and a winter hat that was quite silly. It was red, white and blue with a long tassel hanging from the top. I was just about to hop out and pump my gas when Jen, ever the celebrity spotter says, "Drew, that's Bill Belichick." I looked more closely and it certainly seemed to be him. I got out of the car to pump my gas just in time to hear him say "cash" to the attendant over the intercom system. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it was the legendary coach of the New England Patriots.

I pumped my gas, trying to figure out why he was driving a RAV4, contemplating the fact that he must have to pay cash everywhere he goes so as not to be called out by the person ringing up his purchases with a credit card and trying to figure out what to do in light of the situation. When I finished pumping the gas, we decided Jen would say hi and ask to get a picture with him. She half-chickened out twice and then simply walked up to him and said "Hi, Coach Belichick." He said "hi" nicely enough, but in that way that clearly communicated, "I'm not really looking to be bothered." He wasn't rude at all, but it was clear the picture request was not something he was going to respond to favorably, so we just got back in the car and left the station. Oh and called all of the Patriot fans we could think of who would pick up the phone at 9:45 at night.

I love living in this town.

Duty v. Devotion, Action v. Adoration

2007-02-14T06:22:00.000-05:00

There's been a lot of discussion lately somehow related to this topic. I recently heard an excellent sermon on it from Major Linda Jones in Quincy, MA pertaining to the exchange between Martha and Mary in Luke 10 when Jesus was visiting.

Here are some of her thoughts:

We should be careful to live within this tension. The left column represents cultural assumptions or tendencies. The column on the right is what we are expected to do as believers.
Martha Mary
Work v Worship
Duty v. Devotion
Urgent v. Essential
Focus on self & others v. Focus on Jesus - If Jesus needed food, Mary would have gotten it.
Standing & working v. sitting right in front of Jesus

A couple of quotes
"People expect us to be busy." Stephen Covey

"Tension & frustration mount when we are doing the wrong task or trying to cram too many right tasks into one time period" Major Linda Jones

"If we forget God while serving God, we will probably quit God." Mark Collinsworth

I was struck by many of the thoughts she shared and realized that it's a tricky thing. I work hard sometimes to make sure other people know how hard I'm working, how busy I am, how important a given task is that I'm doing. I guess there can be this equal tendency to make our worship something that we want to get credit for. I've been in situations where the Martha-Mary responses are reversed. One person is quietly and faithfully working away at a task wholeheartedly offering it as a sacrifice for the Kingdom, while someone else wants to make a show of their devotion and make it seem like it's more important than the task their peer is doing. But it's a false self-serving kind of devotion.

This is the exception, of course. For the most part, we'd rather be known as hard workers than hard worshipers to coin a phrase. Our culture, even our Christian culture looks down on those who are "So heavenly-minded they're of no earthly good." We have slipped into the trap of glorifying hard work sometimes at the peril of glorifying God. Because our work gives a quick fix of affirmation, we are willing to trade our glory for His.

Apparently, former General Albert Orsborn was living in this tension and had become a bit of a Martha when he suffered an accident and had to recooperate in a nursing home. He realized how far his priorities had shifted and wrote these immortal words to "All My Work is for the Master." Oh that I would live these words every day. When it's all over and I'm welcomed home, I want to be known as a hard worshiper, someone who did everything for God's honor and glory, not a hard worker who was working for my own legacy.

All My Work is For the Master
Albert Orsborn
Saviour, if my feet have faltered
On the pathway of the cross,
If my purposes have altered
Or my gold be mixed with dross,
O forbid me not thy service,
Keep me yet in thy employ.
Pass me through a sterner cleansing
If I may but give thee joy!
Chorus
All my work is for the Master,
He is all my heart's desire;
O that he may count me faithful
In the day that tries by fire!
2.
Have I worked for hireling wages,
Or as one with vows to keep,
With a heart whose love engages
Life or death, to save the sheep?
All is known to thee, my Master,
All is known, and that is why
I can work and wait the verdict
Of thy kind but searching eye.
3.
I must love thee, love must rule me,
Springing up and flowing forth
From a childlike heart within me,
Or my work is nothing worth.
Love with passion and with patience,
Love with principle and fire,
Love with heart and mind and utterance,
Serving Christ my one desire.

Urban Forum III: a Past Idea

2007-02-12T17:42:00.000-05:00

So I know it's now been almost a month since I was at the 614 Network Urban Forum in Atlanta. I am still processing a couple of things I heard there. Thanks to Delta, I arrived exactly 3 hours after I was supposed to. I missed the beginning of a talk given by Bob Lupton who runs FCS Urban Ministries in Atlanta. He also serves on the board of Christian Community Development of America. I walked in just in time to hear him say, " the idea of building a big building in a poor neighborhood is a past idea. We shouldn't be doing that anymore."

This statement shook me as I am occupied entirely right now with a project that is set to build the largest center The Salvation Army has ever built in the Northeast. His point was that gentrification is sweeping the urban landscape in North America. Once blighted neighborhoods are being revitalized largely due to an influx of wealthy professionals returning from their exile in the suburbs. I say that because many of those people returning to cities are actually the children or grandchildren of a generation of wealthy professionals who fled the cities to populate and perfect the suburban landscape following WWII. White flight and the resultant abuse brought on by insurance fraud, municipal negligence and life conditions of the urban poor have destroyed these neighborhoods and now gentrification threatens to reinvent them by vacating the poor, pricing up real estate and "starting over." Lupton's point is that we can not stop this continental trend and so we ought to be careful not to tie ourselves to a new building in a poor neighborhood as it might not be that way for long. We need to be nimble enough as urban ministries to keep up with the geography of the people we're trying to serve.

I should tell you a bit about the 614 crowd if you're unfamiliar with them. The network is made up of a number of courageous people (mostly Salvationists and some Mennonites) who have moved into poor urban neighborhoods to live, work, go to school with the longtime residents of these communities. They are doing incarnational ministry, experiencing a good deal of injustice themselves--cramped grocery stores, no good plumbers, negligent response from city agencies--and a lot of the richness--the cultural mosaic, the interconnected support structures formed by residents, the hope of a brighter day--that is experienced in places like Regent Park in Toronto and downtown Birmingham, Alabama. As a rule, they mistrust bureaucratic authoritarian structures, preferring a streamlined God-inspired ministry model without all of the red tape and politics.

As I spent time there, I found that some people had assumed that we were just going to plop a huge corps (church) community center in the midst of this landscape and not ask anyone's advice about it. One guy even went so far as to tell me that the people in the community don't want the center. As far as I know, he's never been to Dudley. The assumption was that we were going to pump millions of dollars into a changing neighborhood only to end up with egg on our faces when gentrification rolls through and transforms the neighborhood. They were also bothered by what better work could be done with the funds. When I described the process we'd been through to gain trust in the community, listen to the concerns and partner with agencies and residents, very few were hopeful, most were cynical. That same guy wanted to throw out academic terms around community process to make me look foolish for being such a neophyte.

Here's the thing, though. Everything Lupton said was true. Unchecked, gentrification will develop urban neighborhoods by displacing those that stayed when everyone left, leaving them without a place to live and most without any economic advantage for having been displaced. It's true if a community has not stepped up to prevent it from happening. All of that will take place if the residents have not organized to plan a way through this new wave. In Dudley, they are committed to development without displacement. This means they want to preserve it as a mixed-income community, where those with means are living side by side with those living with less. They have strategized around it and done groundbreaking work to ensure permanently affordable housing and to protect the values of the neighborhood they committed not to leave decades ago. And, oh by the way, part of the strategy has included a community center on Dudley Street next to the tracks for 20 years. We have listened to, learned from and engaged that planning process.

Unfortunately, not every neighborhood has this united force to mitigate the coming changes. I fear some of the Kroc Centers will end up being exactly what Lupton and the 614 folks fear most--a monumental waste of resources as wealthy people move into a poor neighborhood and force out the current residents. So isn't it important that the Bob Luptons and Geoff Ryans of the world engage those of us planning Kroc Centers and the communities in which they'll be built?

I guess I'd prefer that to being kicked in the shin and being told that my current calling is a fool's errand.

No, seriously, I'm back

2007-02-07T06:38:00.000-05:00

Gotten a couple of notes from people decrying my declaration of being back on the blog scene. They say things like "well, guess your resolution to blog again didn't work out" or "it was a nice try, maybe next time."

Let me 'splain. I had a 3rd blog post from the Urban Forum all done. It was ready to post, and I made the mistake of previewing it and then in the process of trying to make an edit, I lost it. No number of back button pushes would bring it back to me, so I've been waiting for the opportunity to post it. Let me give you a preview.

It all starts with a quote from Bob Lupton. I walked into the room to hear him say, "The idea of building a big building in a poor neighborhood is a past idea. We should no longer be doing that." You can understand how that threw me since I'm spending roughly 30 hours a day trying to figure out how we are going to get a 90,000 square foot community center erected in the poorest neighborhood in Boston. Anyway, there's more on that topic and it will be coming in a post before Valentine's Day.

Urban Forum II - Shane Claiborne

2007-01-12T10:30:00.000-05:00

Shane Claiborne, founder of The Simple Way and author of The Irresistible Revolution is here. His talks were more or less summaries of his writing, so I'll just share some of his writing. Hits me quite a bit when we brag so much about the largest charitable gift to a non-profit in history, largest social service project in Boston, etc.

Shane says this:

Layers of insulation separate the rich and the poor from truly encountering one another. There are the obvious ones like picket fences and SUVs, and there are the more subtle ones like charity. Tithes, tax-exempt donations, and short-term mission trips, while they accomplish some good, can also function as outlets that allow us to appease our consciences adn still retain a safe distance from the poor. Take this poignant example I stumbled across. Kathy Lee garments, which earn over $300 million in sals annually, are being produced by teenage girls in abysmal conditions in Honduran sweatshops. These girls as young as 13 work fifteen-hour hsifts under armed guards receiving 31 cents an hour to produce clothing sold under a label which promises that "a portion of proceeds from the sale of this garment will be donated to various Children's Charities."

Charity can be a dangerous insulator

Urban Forum

2007-01-11T19:47:00.000-05:00

A long awaited new look for the new year. And a commitment to process more of my life here than I have been lately. I miss the blogging community and the interaction we've shared here. I feel pretty disconnected and look forward to changing that.

I'm at the Urban Forum in Atlanta put on by the 614 Network. Ray Aldred spoke on Tuesday and I took down some of his thoughts. He is of Cree descent from Northern Alberta, Canada. He works with a group called "My People International" doing family ministry programs with in Canadian Aboriginal communities.

Here are some thoughts he gave:

When we reduce the gospel to anything less than the story that it is, we weaken it. The gospel story is the canon of scripture, the whole thing, the whole process--Old and New Testament.

I thought that the mission of God was something that you enacted on someone. In trying to convey the gospel to aboriginal people, we became utilitarian in our understanding of what it meant to be aboriginal. We had to ask ourselves: "Are we using feathers and drums only to draw an audience?" When we checked that understanding, we discovered that there was in indian life, an expression of the gospel. We discovered that if we tried only to express or convey the gospel to aboriginal people, we had failed. We had to find the gospel that was in aboriginal people.

If you are trying to express the gospel to poor people, you need to understand the gospel that is in poor people.

Anybody who does mission to any marginalized group has 2 roles to fulfill: to proclaim the incarnation to people and to proclaim the incarnation in people.
"Coming of Christ into the world describes how he loves all of creation. For God so loved the Cosmos that he sent his only son into the world."

"Canada and the United States have struggled to acknowledge the humanity of aboriginal people. You can't spread civilization unless there are people who are uncivilized. Aboriginal people did not appear as Westerners expected them to be or portrayed them, because they had some type of civilization. Because of this native people couldn't simply be killed. They had to be saved first than conquered."

"The desire of colonialism was to spread the sovreignty of their nation in a way that undermined God's sovreignty."

The Bible is holy and yet, the views held in the West have made this sacredness a way to keep the gospel from ordinary people.

If we do not love the one sitting before us, how can we say we love God? If we can not love the person who is very different from us, how can we say we love God?

The Church has gotten really good at being spiritual. Now we need to remember how to be human again.

Pride & Glory, Truth & Beauty

2006-11-28T06:43:00.000-05:00

Phil's new album is out TODAY! It's great and it's free! As usual, he can speak about it better than anyone. He sent this note about the ep:

I'm writing to let you know that my new album, Pride & Glory, Truth &
Beauty, is now available online @ any of the following websites:

www.phillaeger.com
www.saytunes.com/bands/phillaeger
www.myspace.com/laeger
www.purevolume.com/phillaeger

Recently, I was at a prayer and fasting retreat where the speaker
pointed out that one of the constant themes of the New Testament is
the Apostle Paul's prayer for more light, both for himself and for
those he had led to Christ.

This album is a prayer for light. The songs on it were written as
far back as almost 10 years, and as recently as just a few months
ago. They're held together by the theme of sight. It is a prayer
that I am still praying, a prayer that all of us are called to pray
as Christians. It is a prayer put in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.
It is the prayer for more light from the Lord.

Light for our pride. Because God resists the proud but gives grace
to the humble.
Light to see His glory. Because the glory of God is all around us
and yet our sin hides Him from us.
Light to know His truth. Because even our best reasoning cannot
bring us to the revelation of God.
Light to see His beauty. Because even the faintest glimpse will
awaken our senses and set us in our right minds.

I hope you enjoy the album. I hope that you are blessed as you
listen and that it encourages you to press in even further in your
quest to know Him.

"May God give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation" so that you
can see His glory, know His truth and experience His beauty.

Grace and more grace to you,

Phil

Get out the Vote!

2006-11-07T06:22:00.000-05:00

Be sure you get out and vote today! And don't give any lame excuses like, "I'm only only 4 years old!" Check out this YouTube feature.

Sally Morganthaler

2006-10-05T07:48:00.000-04:00

Several months back, my brother told me that his church was going to have Sally Morganthaler as their guest for their parrish retreat. I was very impressed and told him so. A couple of weeks later, he told me he had a crazy idea and wondered if we would want to join them at the retreat. The timing was good as the retreat was at the end of September and our new nephew was due in late August. We took them up on the invitation to hear Sally and to see our new nephew, Teddy.

For those who don't know, Sally Morganthaler is one of the leaders in the Emergent movement, an author, a worship leader and speaker. I have read some of her stuff, but had never heard her speak. There's a lot to share from the visit to Pittsburgh, which I will do, but wanted to start with some of the thoughts I scratched down from Sally's talks.

I should start with the church. Jeff and Paige attend Church of the Ascension, an Episcopal Parrish in Pittsburgh. About 400 people attend and it's an urban church. About 85% of those who attend don't live in the immediate neighborhood, but travel anywhere from 10 to 40 minutes to get there.

Sally's primary point in her talks was that top down systems don't get the job done, particularly in emergency situations. She encouraged us to think of the huge numbers of lost people that we know personally as an emergency, an urgent situation. I guess I should say right here, that I don't think I heard anything earth shattering this weekend. It wasn't necessarily anything new, but she does a good job of telling the story, saying known things in interesting ways. What she wanted most for the congregation to grab hold of is the fact that they shouldn't wait until there's a program or a set direction from the Priest or the church leaders to go out and do something about the emergency situation that the lost all around us find themselves in. Salt and light in the area where you are, not even worrying particularly about how close that is to the church building. She encouraged people not to get hung up on the fact that they might live in one section of the city or the suburbs and commute to church. So what. Wherever you live, work or play, make an impact there.

Here are some quotes from her talks:

Worship (in the near future) will look more like a hand reaching out to touch another hand (than a hand raised or a given type of music)

The default in the Church is so much organization that you can't get anything done.

A lot of churches are like JC Penny. It's all inside. Congregations are consumers of ministry products, with a very centralized ministry.

Jesus didn't spend a whole lot of time in the Temple.

She referred several times to this quote from William James: "I am done with big things and great things, and I am for those tiny, invisible, molecular forces that creep from individual to individual like so many rootlets, or like the capillary action of water, yet which, if you give them time, will rend the hardest monument of man's pride."

Dirt calls us.

It's hard to be a leader and it's hard to be led.

A lot of leaders have a problem with people having dreams. They're hard to control.

"No problem can be solved wit hteh same level of thinking that created it." Albert Einstein

So it was a good time. I'll post on the family part of the trip some other time. Just wanted to get some of these thoughts down before they were destined to sit forever on paper in my Bible.

Leadership

2006-09-28T08:02:00.000-04:00

Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Joe Noland on you.

I get a regular email from Christianity Today's Building Church Leaders. I get it because I bought something once or signed up for something or was randomly selected by The Committee to Send Emails. Anyway, I like to read them sometimes to remind myself that I'm in church leadership, not simply in property management, architectural design, community politics, traffic engineering or any of the other aspects of my current iteration of church leadership.

I got this one recently which contains a reprint of a Bill Hybels article on leadership. The whole thing is good and I have some thoughts on my personal style below, but I think reposting the whole article here would be plagiarism or might get me kicked off the email list. If you want to read the whole thing and I recommend it, go here. Here's an excert:

Leadership Journal, Winter 1998
Finding Your Leadership StyleTen different ways to lead God's people. by Bill Hybels

"A few years ago, I began to notice major differences in the ways gifted leaders led their teams. They all had the spiritual gift of leadership referred to in Romans 12:8, but they approached the challenges of leadership differently.
1. Visionary leader
2. Directional leader
3. Strategic leader
4. Managing leader
5. Motivational leader
6. Shepherding leader
9. Re-engineering leader"

So there are 9 of them. The other 3 are the ones I'm thinking about these days in conjunction with what I'm doing. I think I see myself possessing and using numbers 7 and 8, Team-building and Entrepeneurial leadership. I think I need to possess and use number 10 Bridge-building leadership. I'd appreciate any insights those of you who know me well might be able to share about whether you agree with my self-assessment and how to get there on the areas in which I need to grow.

I should be careful as Hybels ends the article with this encouragement:

"It concerns me that there is a certain amount of "gift envy" among church leaders these days. God gave each of us our gift mix for a reason. When leaders adopt someone else's style, they miss the unique opportunities God has given them.I celebrate when I look around the world and see flourishing churches of all kinds, with many different types of leaders, because it's going to take a variety of churches led by a variety of leaders to reach our world with the love of Christ.Whatever your style, recognize it, celebrate it, and step up to the plate and lead."

7. Team-building leader
Team-building leaders have supernatural insight into people. They find or develop leaders with the right abilities, character, and chemistry with other team members. They place people in the right positions for the right reasons who will then produce the right results.
When the team-building leader gets everyone in place, he or she then says to the team, "You know what we're trying to do. You know what part of the mission you're responsible for. You know what part of the vision the rest of us are responsible for. So head out. Work hard. Achieve your objectives. Communicate with your co-laborers, but lead."
The team-building leader might not nurture or manage people well. He or she reasons that shouldn't be necessary. If the right people are in the right slots doing the right things for the right reasons, they'll get the work done without the leader looking over their shoulder. Few things are as exciting to me as drawing together the right people, putting them in the right positions, then letting that team play hard and have fun.

8. Entrepreneurial leader
These leaders possess vision, boundless energy, and a risk-taking spirit. Their distinguishing characteristic is they function best in a start-up operation. They love being told it cannot be done.
But once the effort requires steady, ongoing leadership—once things get complex and there are endless discussions about policies, systems, controls, and databases—the entrepreneurial leader loses energy and may even lose focus and confidence. He or she starts to peek over the fence and wonder if there's another start-up project out there.
Entrepreneurs often feel guilty at the thought of leaving something they gave birth to. But if they think, I can't give birth to something every few years, something inside them starts to die. That's their style. It's important in the kingdom.
The apostle Paul was an entrepreneurial leader. He wanted to build churches where Christ had not been named. He wanted to pioneer them, then let someone else run them so he could move on. He made no apologies for his leadership style.

10. Bridge-building leader
This leader brings a wide variety of constituencies together under a single umbrella of leadership so that a complex organization can achieve its mission.
This feat requires enormous flexibility in a leader—the ability to compromise and negotiate, to listen, understand, and think outside of the box. It requires not only the ability to be diplomatic; it requires also the gift of being able to relate to diverse people.
In a start-up venture, a leader is surrounded by those who share his or her vision. Contrast that with a church or parachurch organization made up of scores of well-defined constituencies, many of whom care little about the overall vision of the ministry anymore. They just want to make sure their interests are served.
I talked to a pastor who said, "I'm dying. The choir wants new designer robes. The youth want a new gymnasium. The missions department wants to give more money away. The Sunday school department wants more classrooms. The production people want more equipment. The seniors want large-print hymnals, and the Gen Xers want to turn the board room into a cappuccino bar."
The variety and velocity of those requests had him imagining each of those subministries as the enemy. But that situation fires up a bridge-building leader. A bridge builder becomes the best friend and advocate of all the constituent groups. He or she seeks to unite them and focus their efforts.

Bill Hybels is pastor of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois.

33 Things I've Learned

2006-09-22T07:30:00.000-04:00

Birthdays are times to take stock, to evaluate where we stand, where we've been, where our lives are going. I thought it might be appropriate to mark my 33rd birthday by sharing 33 things I've learned over those years. This list should not be construed as connecting to each year of life--number 7 is not the thing I learned the year that I was 7. Nor is it a ranked list. Number 1 should not be considered as more important than number 33, but both of those are probably more importnat than number 3. Some of it might be considered deep or thoughtful. Much of it is halfway to foolish and I make no apologies for that. Some of the items may be immediately applicable to your life. Some of them will make so little sense to you that it will annoy you the rest of the day.

If you recognize some of this wisdom, please be flattered, not offended in the case that it came from you personally. That means you've instructed me or played a significant role in my life. I'm not stealing from you (this time, see number 15). I'm acknowledging what you've given to me with gratitude. Where I am using quotations from others, I've tried to attribute them as best I can.

1. A happy wife is a happy life
2. "Time will heal all wounds but until then you will bleed profusely." Julius Caye
3. Don't drink grape juice with tomato soup.
4. A lot of the time, I speak more loudly than I think I am.
5. "What mommies and daddies think is warm, kids think is HOT!" - Riley Forster
6. Even the most thoughtful, beautiful, wonderful, loving women in the world are sometimes incapable of putting jelly on toast or a bagel without making a complete mess.
7. The Enemy likes to use our areas of greatest giftedness as the most effective avenue to great temptation.
8. I am not six minutes older than everyone else my age (a rude awakening I experienced around the age of 8).
9. Wearing a "Caveman in a Bag" costume while barefoot and walking around on flagstone in New Haven, CT on Halloween night is NOT a good idea.
10. Ten years later, you will always look back at yourself and realize how little you knew.
11. Cheesecake never tastes quite as good as it sounds or looks.
12. Vacation truly means having no idea what time of day it is and not caring.
13. Like all other forms of intolerance, Lactose Intolerance is a disease of denial.
14. We are far more selfish than any of us likes to admit.
15. Wisdom borrows. Genius steals.
16. No event in life has meaning more fleeting than taking the SAT
17. No email is clever enough in its content to justify forwarding it to Tim Miller.
18. Sledding down a grassy hill on a cardboard box after all the snow has melted almost always leads to your home being burglarized.
19. Family traditions are easily created and hard to break.
20. ."The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." - a great quote attributed to many people, so I'm not sure of the original author of this one.
21. Birthdays drop significantly in their importance after 21. After 25, the only ones that really matter for the rest of your life are 50 and 100.
22. If you have the choice of buying a child a sleek and expensive toy or simply handing them a cardboard box and asking what can be done with it that would be fun, go with the cardboard box every time, but only if you're prepared to stick around for whatever is fun.
23. I do my best work when under pressure.
24. Rarely do people or institutions conspire nearly as much as we give them credit for.
25. "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." -Jesus
26. The greatest movies and TV shows ever produced during your childhood were full of bad acting, predictable dialog and completely weak special effects. For me, this list includes but is not limited to: the Star Wars Trilogy, the Dukes of Hazzard, Chips, and the Dark Crystal.
27. A favorite shirt is like a truly good friend. They should not be taken for granted and there's nothing quite as comfortable as being close to them.
28. The story of Lance Phondjo could quite possibly represent the single most ingenious use of one of those felt letter boards in the history of humanity.
29. One of the requirements of deep friendship may be hearing the words "I hate you" at 7 o'clock in the morning.
30. Happiness can be found at many tables provided three things are present: Crab Rangoon, Boneless Spare Ribs and my friend, General Tsao.
31. Writing a witty birthday list on very little sleep is harder than you think.
32. Sharing any gift that's been given to you is far more rewarding than hoarding it for yourself.
33. "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." --God

Signs of Life

2006-09-19T12:03:00.000-04:00

Funny how My Computer is a good indication of My Life.

One Nation Under God

2006-09-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

There will be many moments of silence on this solemn day as we pause to remember. My prayer for today is that God will be manifest in those moments. I don't know what people say (silently) or do during moments of silence if prayer is not a regular event in their lives. I just pray that while the nation is silent that

God's presence is incarnated
God's power is in effect
God's plan is enacted.

Props to Atari Nation

2006-09-07T17:15:00.000-04:00

Ok, lovers of the Big 80s, you have to check out this great stop-animation video on YouTube. It starts with a tribute to the most under-appreciated Atari game of them all: Centipede.

Got to love guys who live in their mother's basements and have way too much time on their hands. I'm gonna guess this guy was sporting parachuete pants and his Member's Only jacket while he edited this video.

Riley Forster: Kindergartner

2006-09-05T21:09:00.000-04:00

So, today the world changed. Riley started (full-day) kindergarten at the Cottage Street School. She's in Ms. Sullivan's class with 21 of her new closest friends. It was a sunny day, more like summer than fall. I never bargained for what it would be like to send our first off to kindergarten, even after 2 years of pre-school. Jen was the strong one. I was a mess from the moment I stepped into the living room and saw her dressed in her first day outfi. Let's just say I ducked behind several corners and kept my comments to a minimum. Riley was excited to get going and Sydney would not be left behind with Auntie Jodi and Uncle Phil who were in town visiting. Getting Syd out of the classroom when it was time to go was a great challenge.

Dinner was an event as Riley ran down the day's events, starting with gym, but they didn't do gym, they just read a book about a boy in a class with a fat gym teacher that told them what they would be doing in gym. 2 recesses. Lunch in the cafeteria. She didn't eat her banana. The teachers didn't know the rules, so the kids had to make them up. Riley's addition to the rules was "no pushing." Sand table, drawing table and home again in one piece. Jen was beside herself because she was 10 minutes late to pick Riley up and all of the halls were empty when she arrived...because she was 10 minutes early and everyone was still in class.

So tomorrow is day 2 and maybe it will become easier to believe that this is all happening.

Ministry in the City

2006-08-30T10:45:00.000-04:00

So, I have this weird feeling sometimes like I shouldn't blog about a subject that is too deep or heavy after not posting for a long time. (Phil, you noticed. How sweet.) But I've got nothing else and this has been on my mind a lot lately. I guess I haven't blogged a lot about life in the Kroc world. If you don't know anything about Salvation Army Kroc Centers go here. Who am I kidding? No strangers read this blog.

Anyway, I've been dragging this article home in my bag every night intending to read it after everyone goes to bed or something. It's by Tim Keller, pastor of the vibrant Redeemer Presbyterian Church in the City. In my estimation, he is one of the most important voices on the church today in urban areas worldwide. In a presentation at the Redeemer Global Network Conference, Tim presented on ministry along five fronts necessary in major city-centers. You can read the whole thing here.

This is what he recommends: "City-center churches should have as equal as possible emphases on: a) welcoming, attracting, and engaging secular/non-Christian people; b) character change through deep community and small groups; c) holistically serving the city (and especially the poor) in both word and deed; d) producing cultural leaders who integrate faith and work in society; and e) routinely multiplying itself into new churches with the same vision." He then goes on to say that many churches do one or two of these things with a high level of effectiveness, but fall short, outright fail or completely ignore others. His argument is that we need to be doing all five in a balanced way.

As I contemplate the opportunity in front of us with the Kroc Centers, and specifically ours in Uphams Corner, I know there's a lot to talk about and many have. Many have spoken about
the gift and whether we should have accepted it, the changes it will bring about in the larger Army world, whether it's possible to keep the Salvation in The Salvation Army (the argument about where the C went in YMCA), about whether it's right or wrong to lure people closer to Christ by attracting them to a pool with a waterslide.

For me, I guess, I feel like we're building a new corps in the city. We're building CHRUCH AND, not "swim and gym and oh, by the way, a little Jesus", not Gold's Gym with a cross or shield on it. If the Kroc Center we're building truly is and will be church first and everything else second, yes, it will look different from the churches we grew up in, but hey, no corps I ever attended had a coffee bar either and we all want to be like Willow Creek. If the Kroc really is church first, then I feel like we are ideally placed to succeed in almost all of these areas, perhaps going five for five.

a) welcoming, attracting, and engaging secular/non-Christian people -- Hello! If we can't attract people to this incredible place, we're in big trouble. The big challenge I see here is the engaging of non-Christian people. The question everyone asks is whether they truly will come to swim or dance or get tutoring and cross over to the chapel. I don't get the fear here. It seems like we do this with all kind of Army programming (and generally the Church does this too). In the past, it seems like we felt comfortable that the ceramics class was nice, but it was easy to get people away from the kiln and move them toward the altar? Is the fear that the "fun elements" of a Kroc center will be too much fun and people won't want to move to the quieter side of the bulding where the chapel is? Begs the question, why can't they get saved in the pool or the computer room. Overall, though, we've got this one well pegged.

b) character change through deep community and small groups -- can only speak for Kroc Boston, but we have a deep community already on Vernon Street (Roxbury Corps which will move in to Krocsbury) and a deep community, though secular in its organization, on Dudley Street. It's there waiting. All we need to do is layer the small groups over the top and do them well. The big question here is can we put the Kingdom over the Congregation, Salvation over Statistics?

c) holistically serving the city (and especially the poor) in both word and deed -- be The Salvation Army. Perhaps the simplest of all of them for us as a movement.

d) producing cultural leaders who integrate faith and work in society -- the challenge for all churches. Kroc has a unique advantage though in that we hope those who come through our doors are spending a lot of time there--kids in daycare and afterschool programs, seniors in a daily program, sports leagues, cultural clubs, workforce development programs. The theory is that we will be touching many aspects of people's lives so that we should be able to have a large impact in those multiple areas, helping people to learn to "think Christianly" (Keller's words)

e) routinely multiplying itself into new churches with the same vision -- at once the biggest and not the biggest challenge. The Army makes people jump through too many hoops to plant a corps and yet doesn't provide adequate structure to sustain plants, ironic. That's why this is a challenge. We're not going to plant more corps in cities with Kroc centers because of resources we're already pouring into those cities for Kroc. But, what if new fellowship groups started to spring up within and around the area where Kroc centers are going? What if people understood that they could come to Kroc as a primary gathering point and for life enrichment activities, but could get tied in to the existing corps down the street from them as their worshipping community. Kroc should not steal soldiers from area corps, but should serve as a conduit for new contacts at South End, Jubilee House, Dorchester Hispanic, etc. Again, provided we can have a larger view than we usually possess.

This is way too long for a blog. But I guess I've just spilled out lots of stuff I've been wrestling with. I think my observations are over-simplified and optimistic, but how else can I be when I'm working on the most complicated thing I've ever been a part of and the one that holds the greatest opportunity for the Kingdom? Keeping it simple is a survival tactic. Being hopeful that God will accomplish what He wants to do there is exactly what I want to do.

GoodSearch

2006-08-07T09:30:00.000-04:00

I know this is a bit of a lame way to rejoin the ranks of the bloggers, but hey, it's something, right? I don't know if you've heard of GoodSearch. It works just like any other search engine you use, but you can set it up to help a non-profit. Dudley Street Neighborhood Initiative (DSNI) is our partner on the Kroc Project, so I've set them up to benefit every time I use GoodSearch. For every search I do, they get a penny. I know it doesn't sound like much and at present, it's only raising a minimal amount for them (you can check how much they've raised right on the search page by clicking on "Amount Raised"). But if more people use it, they'll make more money.

So if you're inclined, set GoodSearch as your home page and select Dudley Street Neighborhood Initiative to support or choose your own non-profit to support. Doesn't cost you anything and it's helping someone else. That's a pretty easy commitment.

www.goodsearch.com

Potent Quotables 2 or Do you need to do more than being holy?

2006-07-05T12:20:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this was going to be a reply to a comment made by Tim. It became so long it turned into a new post.

"Showing up and being Holy makes you faithful, but it doesn’t necessarily make you effective."

I recognize the widespread copout that can occur with regard to officer recruitment and evaluation, but I think there has to be some discussion about what effectiveness looks like. I love the Sandra Ryans and Chick Yiulls of the world who are doing effective ministry and can communicate in a terrific way and who are rock stars. For that matter and for the same reasons, I love the Steve & Sharon Busseys and Russell Rooks and Tim and Jamie Millers.

Here's the thing, though, I know that it's not all about the rock stars. It's also about these people who aren't that well spoken but have hearts to love their people, it's about people who may go about the business of Corps Officering very differently from the way I would, it's about people society would not tap to be leaders. But they are effective as Salvation Army officers because people see what they have and want some of it. I can't tell you their names and you won't know them anyway.

My concern is with the angle that seems to say that it's possible that some hypothetical set of officers could be holy and could be showing up and that God would not bring fruit due to lack of training or expertise. I just don't buy that. I quote this all the time, because it's so dead on. Turn it around to be about excuses why others can't be effective:

In his book The Purpose-Driven Life, Rick Warren writes, "If you're not involved in any service or ministry, what excuse have you been using? Abraham was old, Jacob was insecure, Leah was unattractive, Joseph was abused, Moses stuttered, Gideon was poor, Samson was codependent, Rahab was immoral, David had an affair and all kinds of family problems, Elijah was suicidal, Jeremiah was depressed, Jonah was reluctant, Naomi was a widow, John the Baptist was eccentric to say the least, Peter was impulsive and hot-tempered, Martha worried a lot, the Samaritan woman had several failed marriages, Zacchaeus was unpopular, Thomas had doubts, Paul had poor health, and Timothy was timid. That is quite a variety of misfits, but God used each of them in his service. He will use you, too, if you stop making excuses."

The caveat is that if you are a holy person and have a heart for people, you will be driven to minister more effectively by being trained, by using best practices, by checking your approach with peers who share your passion. Holy people who show up aren't static in minstry. They find paths to greater effectiveness, and they already know the most important one--being indwelt by the Holy Spirit and keeping in tune to what God is doing in and around them.

You can't spell gangsta without TSA.

2006-06-30T11:33:00.000-04:00

So, I know I haven't blogged about the Kroc project in a while. I have this great story to share about a community meeting the other night. We were presenting to one of the many neighborhood associations that make up the Uphams/Dudley community. After a short presentation, we opened the floor for questions. We had several and then, right at the end, a woman stepped up with this question: (and this is as direct a quote as I can give)

"I don't want this to sound crass, but I've been hearing some little rumors, some whispers out there in the community and I need to ask. There's a feeling that The Salvation Army is coming in here, kind of like (I'm sorry), like a gangsta, that you say you're coming in to build this great community center, but you have your eye on this building over here to do some housing and that spot over there to do something else..."

That was pretty much the question: is The Salvation Army the next developer in the neighborhood, coming in "like a gangsta" promising one very good thing in order to get more for itself down the road.

Personally, I just think it's hilarious that the word gangsta was used to describe the Army, but then when you scratch the surface a little bit, you see one of the great challenges of the Kroc gift. It mandates that we come into an underserved community and provide something beyond their wildest dreams. The people in this neighborhood have been put down and swindled for so long that it is difficult for them to trust that we intend to bring community benefit and not expect something more. The Kingdom is counterintuitive to human nature and to what past experience has taught this community. We have a lot of work to do in continuing to live out the Kingdom with integrity amongst our neighbors.

I guess this means I can't drive the Shieldmobile with my gangsta lean on anymore.

Potent Quotables

2006-06-27T09:15:00.000-04:00

Since March 4th of this year, I've done something I hadn't done in a long, long time: look forward to the new War Cry coming out. I think most of you know why, but in case you don't, a guy named Ed Forster is the new editor of the War Cry and I have to say he's doing a pretty good job with the Army's national magazine.

Anyway, one of the sections I turn to first (because I have the attention span of a bag of pretzels) is the quotes page. There are generally half a dozen or so quotes from various sources. I found this one in the June 24 issue.

"The two keys to Salvation Army officership are:
1. Be Holy
2. Show up for work."

Colonel James Knaggs, May 20, 2006

Now this quote may run contrary to some people's opinion and specifically to some of the thoughts in Tim's recent blog, but I think he's quite right. I like that there are 2 parts and I don't think you can separate the two. They're in the right order, but one without the other is really pointless. I'm convinced that if the early Army wasn't too polished and wasn't nearly as professional as we are today, that they bested us by a fair margin on these 2 points.

So props to the War Cry for being an engaging publication again. Props to Colonel Knaggs for nailing it in two sentences (a true gift of his). And props to those officers that are managing to hit the mark on points 1 and 2.

Talk v. Power

2006-06-21T14:33:00.000-04:00

"For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but of power."
1 Corinthians 4:20

Sometimes, I think if the Church could only take this verse on as a life verse, a lot of the problems we have would fade away. Ironically, a lot of churches seem to be more about talk than about power. We talk about the way things should be done, we talk about each other, we talk about the car the pastor drives or the house the corps officer lives in. But how often can we really say we are about the business of experiencing the power of the Kingdom of God when we are at church?

It's always a little funny to take a shot at blogging within the confines of a blog post, but even this medium can serve to encourage us to talk and not to tap into the power of the Kingdom of God.

Event Christianity comes into play here as well. Lots of people love to go to conferences and retreats and talk about how life will be different when they return. Those of us who plan such events often struggle to be sure that anything ever truly comes out the mountaintop times.

I think the challenge is that it's so easy to talk, but it takes a lot more work to be disciplined enough to experience the power of God regularly. Some of that is about noticing the power of God in the small things of life. Part of it is about being in the spiritual disciplines enough to position ourselves to experience power. A lot of it is about being Kingdom-minded rather than concentrating on the small things in front of us on a daily basis. David Crowder has a song about it. Wanna hear it? Hear it go...

How Great from Illuminate
Listen.

I'm so bored of little gods while
standing on the edge of something large
Standing here so close to You
We could be consumed. What a glorious day

I give up. I lay down. Rest my face upon the ground
Lift my eyes to your sky. Rid my heart of all I hide
So sweet this surrender

How great Your love for us
How great our love for You
That grace would cover us
How great Your love

How marvelous. How brilliantly.
How luminous You shine in me
And who can fail to give You awe?
To fear You God so sovereign and strong?

How great your love.

One of a Kind

2006-06-02T11:42:00.000-04:00

So I was at the grocery store the other day when I saw something I'd never seen before: a Subaru limousine.

I met the chauffeur inside the store getting coffee. Turns out this Forester limo is the only one of its kind in the world.

He wanted something special to show off, I guess.

It is ridiculous. A true stretch limo. Of course it's all wheel drive. I have to wonder how it does in snow, though.

The chauffeur says that they're now creating a B9 Tribeca stretch limo as well. Just glad to see that money is being wisely spent on working toward the greater good of humanity.
It is fun to look at, though.

Dance Dance Evolution

2006-05-26T17:26:00.000-04:00

So a friend of mine just emailed me a link to this guy's YouTube video. Apparently, his name is Judson Laipply. He dances through the second half of the 20th century from Elvis to the Brady Bunch to MJ to the Backstreet Boys.

Here's the thing, her email said, "I saw this and immediately thought of you." You'll have to watch it to work out whether that is a complement or an insult. I have to hand it to the guy, though. He doesn't look like much of a dancer and he starts off kind of slowly, but he is pretty schmoove. And he has an incredible amount of energy to keep the act moving for a full 6 minutes. It's well worth it if you've got the time.

Click on the pic to go to the video.

Breathe in, breathe out

2006-05-20T20:59:00.000-04:00

The Competitive Enterprise Institute has put together a couple of commercials promoting, yep, you guessed it, carbon dioxide.

It ends with the classic line: "Carbon dioxide, they call it pollution, we call it life."

Click on the picture. If you haven't seen it yet, you're definitely missing out.

A Generous Orthodoxy

2006-05-18T07:23:00.000-04:00

Like the movie Garden State and the band Linkin Park before it, I'm coming late to the Generous Orthodoxy party. Most of you have probably already read it (twice). Larry's probably wrestling with some questions about it. Tim has it printed on his church clothes. It's been on my current reading list for a while, but as of today, I'm in Chapter 1.

Actually I just finished Chapter 0, the disclaimer in which McLaren says the words generous and orthodoxy roughly 257 times each. But then, right at the end of Chapter 0, he gives this great explanation of why he wrote the book:

"The people I'm primarily writing for are the Christians (or former Christians) - evangelical, liberal, Catholic, whatever - who are about to leave (or have just left) the whole business because of the kinds of issues I raise in this book. And equally, I'm writing for the spiritual seekers who are attracted to Jesus, but they don't feel there's room for them in what is commonly called Christianity unless they swallow a lot of additional stuff - NOT essential orthodoxy (as reflected in the creeds and as I try to explore here), but rather doctrinal distinctives - the fine print added to the contract of orthodoxy - that are fine to explore and discuss, but threaten to become far more important than the gospel warrants.

Perhaps I'm trying to tell them, "Don't leave! Don't give up! There's room for you!" But maybe I'm just wrong, overly idealistic, naive. Maybe it's not right to tell these people there is room for them in most Christian circles - because there's not.

If that thought breaks your heart, you should read this book.

Many, no, most are happy with their orthodoxy and unbothered about the people who are about to leave or the outsiders who feel unwelcome. I have no wish to disturb them in any way, just as one doesn't want to disturb a hornet's nest (unless, say, it's hanging right in front of your front door and its inhabitants keeps stinging your kids and scaring away your guests). Enough. On to Chapter 1, and why I am a Christian."

The rest of the book may be complete rubbish, but now I have to read the rest. And even if it is rubbish, it may still be worth it just for those few paragraphs, particularly the picture of the problems with the Church being akin to a bunch of hornets that sting your kids and scare away your guests. I'll keep you posted on the book you've all already read.

"I don't want to over-spritualize or anything..."

2006-05-05T08:28:00.000-04:00

I have heard this comment made numerous times about not wanting to "over-spiritualize" a given decision or world happening. Usually people say it when they are concerned that they might sound foolish thinking that God might be involved in their life decisions or in world happenings, natural or otherwise. Primarily, the phrase is used for situations that seem too minor or too obscure for God to be involved. "I don't mean to over-spiritualize or anything, but do you think it was God's will for Doug Mirabelli to catch Tim Wakefield in the first Sox-Yankees game of 2006?"

But it has me thinking. Is that possible? I mean, can we over-spiritualize anything? Are there aspects of our lives in which we need to cut back on our interaction with God, both in terms of understanding and expectation? Where do we draw the line, then? Where do we cut God out and where do we keep Him in the mix? Does God care what you eat for lunch today? Does he have an impact on the traffic you'll sit in on the way to work today? Does He have an impact on where you'll work today, what job you'll have next year? How much is He a macro God in charge of all the big stuff and how much is He a butterfly effect God?

Donald Miller says in Blue Like Jazz Chapter 17 Worship: The Mystical Wonder
"It comforts me to think that if we are created beings, the thing that created us would have to be greater than us, so much greater, in fact, that we would not be able to understand it. It would have to be greater than the facts of our reality, and so it would seem to us, looking out from within our reality, that it would contradict reason. But reason itself would suggest it would have to be greater than reality, or it would not be reasonable.

When we worship God we worship a Being our life experience does not give us the tools with which to understand. If we could, God would not inspire awe.

You cannot be a Christian without being a mystic. " For larger excerpt go here.

I guess my point is this: isn't it a slippery slope to de-emphasize the spiritual, mystical aspect that God brings to our lives? Aren't we then on the road to "under spiritualizing" our decisions, choices and world events?

Line Painting

2006-05-01T15:58:00.000-04:00

"What do I hope to gain from this endeavor?"
you might ask yourself
Don’t know if I ever had direction or purpose,
or singleness of heart
--Phil Laeger, Blame

Ok, so this song Blame appears in my Quote of the Moment too. It's from an obscure early recording of the great American artist Phil Laeger entitled Live...and Far from Perfect. I was there the night it was recorded, but I digress.

Up until 3 months ago, I was very content with a job that had a very defined purpose--a relatively easy to measure set of results. I was working to see successful implementation of a specific course in discipleship training in Salvation Army congregations in Massachusetts. Lot of work to do, but a pinpoint focus. The only question was how to best accomplish the goal of more corps (churches) implementing the course.

One of the great challenges in the new job in which I find myself is the issue of focus, which brings us to the line painting truck. It's a pretty standard issue dumptruck I saw on the way to work last week. But on the back is tacked an orange sign that says "Line Painting." This truck may have many purposes but for this day, its purpose was singular and decisive. It was going to protect the vehicle that actually paints the lines from being interfered with by traffic. That's all it had to do that day. By fulfilling its purpose of announcing the line painter, it would play a small but significant role in ensuring straight lines on Boston highways for generations.

In the position in which I currently find myself, (which you can read more about in "...a new thing" here, if you don't know what I'm doing), I have great challenge when it comes to singleness of purpose. We have this tremendous macro, universe-sized single focus: to bring men, women and children into a deeper relationship with Christ and His Kingdom by whatever means availalble to us. There are many methods we could choose to accomplish that, many of them wrong, very few of them right. Keeping a straight line from the gift of $85 million to the end result of a more crowded Kingdom of Heaven is extraordinarily complicated.

Then there's the task itself, the job. On a given day, I may be in touch with our excellent architect, our gifted design firm, staff from the City of Boston, members of the Roxbury Corps, dedicated and tenacious members of The Salvation Army Greater Boston Advisory Board, members of the diverse pool that is the Upham's Corner community, etc. On that day, I might be working on a powerpoint for one of the various presentations we make weekly, strategizing a meeting to accomplish some portion of the project, writing for the Salvation Army's internal process related to the Kroc Center, writing for some local Army publication to keep them up to date, finding out what various words and abbreviations mean, thinking about what materials we should use in the construction of the center, trying to understand what the staffing might look like in a place this big, etc.

Then there's my life. Jen's job is cranking up right now to its usual early May fever pitch. She's working harder than I've ever seen her work because she only has two days a week to ensure over the phone and through email that the 85 people who will be at camp are chosen by God for the express purpose of changing children's lives with the love of Jesus. Riley is such an interesting person I would just like to spend all day every day watching and listening to her (until she utters the words, "Let's play family. I'll be the mommy, you be the baby.") Sydney is a different person every time I come home, learning new words, stretching her world, tackling new challenges and all that with her bangs in her eyes all the time (we're trying to get her hair all one length).

So, at the moment, I'm challenged, excited, humbled, amazed, but I gotta say, I'm a little jealous of the line painting truck. It has one purpose, stay behind the line painter and help it to make straight lines. The thought of such singleness of purpose on a minute-by-minute basis is enticing. And I bet the truck doesn't wake up in the middle of the night hoping it's doing the right thing with each precious moment of the day.

Marrying Up

2006-04-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

Larry recently commented on my Easter post and said that he and I had both married out of our league. He's right. We both did. This picture was taken on the last day of the summer of 1995, when Jen and I began dating. It sits in my office as a constant reminder of the mess that rolled into camp that summer (me) and the gem that he rolled into (Jen) and the incredible grace it took on her part to reach down and date, let alone marry, the little boy lost that was Drew Forster at that time in my life.

But that comment gives rise to a theory that I've held for a while and what better place to float theories for acceptance or severe public humiliation than my (sometimes sleeping) blog.

So here goes -- Drew's Theory on Marriage & Gender.

It is impossible for a man to marry down. A man always marries up, always gets more in a wife than he deserves. If this is true, the reverse must also be true, that it is the rare occurrence, if ever that a woman marries up. If the theory is true, a woman always stoops, always marries down.

So to Larry's comment, it is not possible to make the statement: "She married out of her league" because social status and physical appearance and all of the superficial elements aside, we as guys never deserve the woman we get to spend the rest of our lives with. That's what the rest of our life is about, trying to live up to the standard of the woman we proposed to. Why do you think we kneel down to do it?

So the theory's out there. Look forward to your comments on it.

Little girls in Easter dresses

2006-04-21T10:06:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I know it's not exactly a full-fledged post and that I've been derilect with my posting lately, but come on, who can resist little girls in Easter dresses? Not to mention the knockout in the middle.

This pic was taken in my parents' backyard in Alexandria, VA where we spent a fantastic Easter weekend. We had a great time. Sydney is quite the intrepid egg hunter, it turns out.

Honda Oddity

2006-04-10T22:11:00.000-04:00

I never really get this. This Honda Odyssey has been parked near my office lately. I don't get it how people choose to drive a family vehicle and then decide to go with the body kit, rims and a spoiler on it. I guess if you're a boy racer who all of a sudden finds himself a boy's father, you might have to make this kind of compromise, but it just cracks me up anyway. What's the message, "Hey, soccer mom, I could pick up groceries in this whip or I could blow you off the line."?

Wonder what the stroller looks like that they pull out of the back of this thing.

Come on Ride the Train

2006-04-04T08:37:00.000-04:00

So we were at Riley's school's Spring fundraiser the other day. It was a luau and auction. We had a lot of fun and if we'd had about $300 extra dollars just lying around, could have had box seats for an upcoming Sox-Yankees game.

There was food and dancing for the kids. One of the moms, who we've known in town for a while, was playing DJ. She did a great job and really got the kids engaged all night long. At the end of the night, she announced "Ok, kids, we have one more song we're going to do. How many of you know how to do the Pahty Train?" With her hardcore Massachusetts accent, she had unwittingly turned the word party into potty. And if she said it once, she said it a dozen times. A lot of the parents picked up on it and were looking around smiling and chuckling to ourselves. You'd think as the parent of a 5-year old and a 3-year old, she might have realized what it sounded like she was saying, but she never did. So she turned on the song and the kids dutifully lined up and made a train around the room. It was as disorganized as you'd expect a bunch of pre-schoolers to be, but it was cute and they're learning much needed party skills for later in life.

As we walked out to the car, Riley was commenting on what a fun night it was (I think the direct quote was "the funnest night of my whole life"). We asked her, "Riley, what was your favorite part of the night?" To which Riley answered completely straightfaced, "The train part, you know with the toilet thing."

Instant classic.

Krocabulary Update

2006-03-24T11:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, so iterative is this week's new word in my Krocabulary. Basically, what it means is we'll come back and have multiple meetings that will cost you more money as we determine exactly what it is you wanted us to do in the first place.

As is the case with a lot of these words, I'd never heard it until Wednesday. But since then, I've heard it at least 2 dozen times. Curtis, you'll be happy to know, I've resisted the temptation to say it. At least at the point of writing. But as you know, the process is very ... (resisting...urge...to...speak...new...language...)

Seen on my commute

2006-03-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

Enough said.

Brave New Words

2006-03-13T06:50:00.000-05:00

I think any time we start something new, start interacting with a new group of people, we go through changes. Not sure what this new venture will produce in terms of deep changes in who I am, but I'm well aware of a kind of surface change that's already well under way--in my vocabulary. A month ago, I never said any of these words, or at least didn't use them the way I do now. Now I use them every day roughly 100 times each. So in honor of being in this job just about a month now, I present to you a top ten list of words and phrases from my new vocabulary:

1. collaborate/collaborative
2. engage -- of course I used this one before, but only when I was talking about Jen
3. community process
4. community partner
5. stakeholder
6. capacity
7. sustainable
8. $85 million
9. program development
10. around -- again, I've said this word before, but not with the reckless abandon I do now. See below.

Here is an example of a sentence that might use this new language:

In light of the $85 million from the Kroc gift, The Salvation Army seeks to engage community partners and other stakeholders in a community process around program development forming a sustainable collaborative that will increase the capacity of existing and planned programs.

Unlikely Collaboration

2006-03-06T09:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I had never heard of this publication until a copy of it showed up in my inbox with the following announcement:

The People's Voice is proud to announce that it now has subscribers in Canada, Australia, England and USA. We are also thrilled to have the ability to take on-line subscribers through www.sacollectables.com, which has allowed us to make the publication more available round the world.

Other exciting news is that film maker Michael Moore (Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling for Columbine, The Awful Truth) has agreed to write for the People's Voice on an ongoing basis. His views of social justice will add good weight to the world's only 'newspaper for the homeless' - as described in the AGE newspaper recently.

If you are not already a subscriber get onto it (it only costs the same as 4 coffees for a whole year's subscription).

-- --
Timothy McPherson
Territorial Director - Major Gifts
The Salvation Army Australia
Phone

Michael Moore offering his views on social justice is a good addition to an Army publication? Call me crazy, but I think Moore's politics would at least give pause in this circumstance if not rule out a collaboration with the Army. Maybe life is that different in Australia.

Unfortunately, you can't really read the whole edition of The People's Voice online anywhere, but a small taste is available. It's designed as a newspaper for the homeless, so I guess they are trying to make some money with it for ministry. Which is why they included an ad for Bernard's Magic Shop. (They couldn't sell any ads to anyone else?) Had to read this thing closely thinking it was a joke, but as far as I can tell, Tim McPherson and others think this is a good idea for 614 Melbourne to be putting out. I think I'm generally pretty open-minded about collaboration and think the Army should do more of it, but I don't think this is the kind of collaboration we need--Michael Moore and a Magic Shop.

Gilligan's Island Beatbox

2006-02-28T17:18:00.000-05:00

I thought Matisyahu was the coolest beatboxer to come along in a while.

Then I saw this guy.

Don't Wait Till We're Dead

2006-02-27T12:01:00.000-05:00

There was an excellent piece in the Globe last Thursday about a meeting in which 100 young people from Boston met with city councillors to discuss the rash of gun-related violence plaguing the city and endangering many teens on the street.

Read it here if you like.

...a new thing

2006-02-22T10:45:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note to share some news. Over the course of 2 weeks of prayer and listening, Jen and I have come to a decision about an opportunity placed in front of me.

Without such luxuries as a title or a job description (who needs 'em?), I have accepted a position with the program development of the Kroc Center that was awarded to and will be built in Upham's Corner on the borders of Dorchester & Roxbury in Boston. The project is massive ($85-100 million and 85,000 sq ft) and a team is quickly coming together to tackle phase 2 of the development process. I will be a member of that team which includes advisory board members, our development staff, community members and organizations, and other people soon to be named.

For those who might be interested in a little bit about the area into which the center is going: (from the RFP)

There are currently approximately 24,000 residents in the immediate Dudley Street neighborhood; approximately 58,000 within a one-mile radius. Nearly half of Boston’s children live in Roxbury, Dorchester and Mattapan, with the largest number of youth in Roxbury and the second largest in Dorchester. The proposed site is on the Dorchester/Roxbury line. 37% of Dudley residents (approximately 8500) are age 19 or under. 89% of Dudley residents identify as minorities, 25 % of the population is Cape Verdean. This cultural diversity adds an incredible flavor to the area, but also creates challenges in providing services across cultural and sometimes language barriers.

The proposed site for the center is a true exercise in urban development, presenting many challenges of land assembly, traffic flow, and parking yet creating an exciting, vibrant center of activity that has the potential to influence and change for the better a forsaken cityscape along a main commercial thoroughfare. Characterized for years by abandoned buildings in desperate need of repair and vacant land serving to attract littering as well as drug trafficking, the arrival of a Kroc Center has an opportunity to greatly improve a neighborhood simply by occupying currently desolate space, to say nothing of the impact that the programs within the center will have on the youth and families for years to come.

I was over there just last week and if there were ever a place where the Army and the Church need to be, it's there. The possiblities for the Kingdom are breathtaking, the challenges almost equally as imposing. As a friend of mine said of it the other day, "The opportunity is massive and terrifying, not unlike the God we serve."

I will maintain a small sliver of what I'm currently doing with Discipleship Training. It will be good to continue in one area of direct, hands-on ministry throughout this phase of the position with the Kroc as it will involve a very different range of activities.

So it's another leap into the deep end of the unknown, but we know who our God is and we trust Him for all that's needed.

We covet your prayers for this transition and again thank those who prayed, counseled and listened through the decision-making process.

Isaiah 43:18-19
19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

If you have no idea what a Kroc Center is, go here

Old Skool Camp Reunion

2006-02-15T09:54:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night, Jen and I got (some of) the old skool Wonderland gang together since Steve Guest was in town from Miami.

Here's a little note about what everyone's up to these days.

(right to left)
Nakia's work will soon be published in O magazine.

Cole is in jail.

Hong cleans a white man's underwear for a living.

Steve is spending a lot of time with drug runners in South Beach.

At the time of writing, Bryan is traveling to Guatemala for an unspecified period of time with no clear purpose for his visit.

Delano is spending a lot of time in juke joints and not getting much sleep.

So as you can see, the gang has all turned out well!

It was really great to see everyone. We watched one of the classics from Happy Summer Studios -- The Missing Heir. Always brings a chuckle and a tear. The chuckle for Dee, the tear for Hongle.

I feel vindicated: Kanye West is an idiot

2006-02-10T10:19:00.000-05:00

"Cocky rap star Kanye West is calling for a revised edition of the Bible, because he thinks he should be a character in it.

The Jesus Walks hitmaker, who picked up three Grammy Awards, feels sure he'd be "a griot" (West African storyteller) in a modern Bible.

He says, "I bring up historical subjects in a way that makes kids want to learn about them. I'm an inspirational speaker.

'I changed the sound of music more than one time... For all those reasons, I'd be a part of the Bible. I'm definitely in the history books already.'"

Don't feel the need to comment beyond his own words, really.

Pressing in

2006-02-08T12:45:00.000-05:00

STANDARD PARENTAL STORY DISCLAIMER: For those readers who are not parents, the following post will involve a story of a child-parent relationship related to larger issues of life. It's the kind of analogy parents are always making that can become extremely annoying particularly to those who do not have children. I do, however, have children and so I will tell the story anyway. Deal or stop reading now.

It doesn't happen too much these days, but a little while ago, especially during the year in which Riley was 2 and a half to 3 and a half years old, she would occasionally get very clingy. Not in the usual sort of "I need you Mommy or Daddy" way that kids get into, but in an excited, "I just need to be close to you all the time" kind of way. This would manifest itself often at restaurants when either Jen or I would be sharing one side of a booth with her. Though there was plenty of space for an adult and a toddler to occupy comfortably, she would press herself up against us, not allowing us to move or eat or speak without being aware of Riley's presence on our elbow, in our ribcage, pushing against our shoulder. She didn't need us to do anything but let her be that close, wasn't looking for comfort in a specific way. She just needed extreme proximity.

When a newborn or an infant wants to be close, we tend to put up with it and truly to enjoy it most of the time. When a toddler does it, at least to me, I can take it for a bit, but then I feel so encumbered, so weighed down by her pressing on me, annoyed, distracted, not at ease. I am itching for her to find some other distraction and just give me some space.

Lately, I've really been pressing into God. Depending on Him in a way that I haven't for a long time. It's just occured to me that this is another one of those similarity/difference situations in God the Father's relationship with us. We do sometimes exactly what Riley did to us: we press in to God, needing comfort, excited to be in His presence, depending on the weight of who He is to hold us up. There's the similarity. Here's the difference: He doesn't get weighed down. He is not annoyed. He is still high and lofty and loving and compassionate and so trustworthy. He is more at ease when we press into Him. He is ill at ease when we ignore Him, patronize Him or humor Him with our affection. And because there is no end to Him, we can press in and press in and press in and find no resistance, at least from Him. There's always more of Him for us to experience, to depend on.

The Theology of Johnny Cash

2006-02-03T10:19:00.000-05:00

I know Johnny Cash didn't write this song with a Christian walk in mind, but that doesn't mean we can't read it, hum it, sing along with our Christian walk in mind. Hey, maybe we could even add it to a worship set some day soon.

I Walk the Line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

And the bolt of lightning goes to....

2006-01-30T08:03:00.000-05:00

This is the cover of the latest Rolling Stone. I read the excerpt of the article that the magazine will let you read on its website. For better or worse, the excerpt at least makes no reference to West's Messianic aspirations. They refer to him as a genius. Though I will admit to whistling, quoting and generally liking "Gold Digger," I have to respectfully ask, "Is it possible to be a genius and an idiot at the same time?" For more on that question, check out the podcast that comes with the article. He makes no sense.

West seems to be like others before him (P Diddy, Dr. "You better say my name in every song I produce" Dre) like an incorrigible egomaniac. The most clear sign of his arrogance seems to be his willingness to compare himself to Jesus for no apparent reason other than controversy. We don't talk much about blasphemy these days, but I'm pretty sure doing a magazine cover shoot in a crown of thorns qualifies. I don't see how he's a martyr. I actually respect the sentiment behind what he attempted to say at the Katrina Disaster relief disaster, if not the complete content. It's right that he should speak out about the fact that it might just be time for another civil rights movement, but he seems incapable of making 2 good decisions in a row. If he says or does something thoughtful or thought provoking, he seems to do something equally stupid and just plain provocative the next moment.

If there's no difference between good and bad press, Kanye sure seems gifted at creating some pub.

I'll have a grande discipleship, no whipped cream

2006-01-26T10:21:00.000-05:00

So I was preparing a seminar last week. I had the elements that I wanted to cover in this day-long seminar, but was struggling to put it all in order and create a presentation that would use all of the elements in the right order and make it all work. Attempting to do this at home was not proving very fruitful, so I had the treat of going to Starbucks for a couple of hours to synthesize everything. It worked and I was able to pull the pieces together. But I was not entirely distraction-free even while sitting on comfortable furniture in the window of the Seattle coffee giant.
At the next table over, a new "partner" was having what I learned is known as his "first impression" meeting with the manager. The manager was one of those 20 something young women who give off kind of a 12-year old vibe because, for whatever reason, her parents put off the braces during her adolescence. She was not the most well-spoken person (maybe it was the braces) and at times, seemed way more nervous than the 20 something tight Tshirt wearing hipster that she was training. But even given that, she was presenting him with the wealth of information required for anyone training to make lattes and doing a decent job of it because of her apparent passion for Starbucks and because of the curriculum she was given to teach.

This indoctrination lasted the entire 2 hours that I was there. I kept expecting it to end, but on and on it went. Here are some tidbits from the exchange.

During this time, tight T hipster received no less than a dozen books, some of them short, pamphlet type things and some quite long pieces of literature. I would estimate that he had at least 3 hours of reading to complete.

One of the books was entitled: "The Little Green Book: Ways of Being." This, despite, being called little was one of the longer books he would need to read. It includes apparently, standards for behavior and the overarching principles that all "partners" assent to.

Another book was "The Green Pages." It's full of nuts and bolts, the manager said.

Something else was from the founder of Starbucks, Howard Schultz, who she described as "not only the founder, but that in his position as chairman and chief global strategist was still guiding the company to be what it ought to be."

At some point, they left their table and went into the back, I guess so the new barista could see some of what he would be reading about. They came back out and then she instructed him that while he was in the store reading (and I assume being paid for his training), he should just wear street clothes. Following this reading portion and only when he felt ready to do so should he don the black apron. Here's a quote from the manager: "When you put on the apron, you are communicating to customers and to other partners that you are ready to serve."

Not long before I left, a couple of regulars went up to the table and the husband said, "One of your first tasks is to remember customers’ names. I’m Bob, this is Pat. We’ll be back to check on you later.”

The manager told him he would be assigned a learning coach, a current partner or maybe more than one, who would show him the ropes and answer questions big and small during his first few weeks.

In fact, Starbucks is really into education. I grabbed this off their website:

Training & Education
We guide all new partners through an extensive orientation and fundamental training program to provide a solid foundation for career advancement at Starbucks. Some of our educational programs are:
Coffee Education – A course focusing on the Starbucks passion for coffee and understanding our core product.
Learning to Lead – A three level program for baristas to develop leadership skills. The program also includes store operational and effective management practice training.
Business and Communication – The Starbucks Support Center (SSC) offers a variety of classes ranging from basic computer skills to conflict resolution, to management training.

Leadership development? Communication classes? Hello. It's a coffee store.

Ok, so what's the point? Sadly, as I sat there, I realized that what was happening in Starbuck's should be what happens in the church and too often does not occur. Someone sits down with a new person and disciples them, giving them some strong pointers about what to read and how to learn about the place and its mission and their part of accomplishing that mission. I saw a non-threatening approach to including a new person, calling him partner immediately, instead of trainee. (See Larry's blog for more on this topic). I saw natural community operating in customers reaching out to the newbie barista and intentional community in him receiving a learning coach. I saw the ability for growth and a close benchmark in terms of putting on the apron (for the Salvos reading this, how about it? Don't put on your uniform until you're ready to communicate, "I'm ready to serve.")

Now the church didn't invent the concept of discipleship or apprenticeship or whatever you call it, but we sure ought to be doing it better than a coffee bar is. Isn't it interesting how the place people associate with relaxed cool has such a systematic way of ensuring that they continue to be known for just that? Sometimes when the church tries to do laid back, it turns into chaos because we don't want any system in place to make it work.

So how did it come about that the church became a place associated with judgment and an untter lack of "cool" and one people stay away from for fear that they will be rejected or worse yet, ignored while a coffee bar became the place that knows how to bring someone into the fold in a straightforward and sensible way in order to grow its empire and build up the individual? Here's a hint, it has nothing to do with furniture or music selection or their logo or apparel options.

Rites of Passage

2006-01-23T11:35:00.000-05:00

Wasn't able to get this post together last week. Not sure why. But here it is after some delay. Still fresh enough though.

On Wednesday night, Jen and I went to Kindergarten orientation. Wow. Could tell lots of stories of crazy suburban parents and their questions with regard to the benefits/costs of full day v. half day kindergarten, but really more significant than that for Jen and me is that we are at a point in our lives where we're going to this event. It just doesn't seem possible. Riley is certainly ready for kindergarten and will thrive in that environment. I'm just not sure we're ready for that yet. No wonder my grandmother kept my father out of kindergarten when the time came. It all goes too fast. it doesn't seem possible that June 14, 2001 was 4 and a half years ago.

And then Sydney, not to be outdone, chose last week to finally say the word "Daddy" and look at me at the same time. This is impossible to explain fully to parents what this moment means in the life of a parent's relationship with their child. It is electric to walk through the door and have her look up with those eyes and that smiling face and scream out daddy and jump up and down. It's so much better than so many of the things we chase after in life as to not even be in the same league. And as predicted, Syd has now begun to add words to her vocabulary on a daily basis. It's just too good.

I don't want to fail to mention another important rite of passage in our family as well. Last Friday (Jan 20) my parents celebrated 38 years of marriage. In this day and age, that's an inspiration and deserves more pomp and circumstance than it got.

Clive & Sam, sharing a brain.

2006-01-09T11:09:00.000-05:00

Just got back from Cincinnati, with some great people from SWONEKY. Sadly, the Bengals were not able to pull it off, but we had a great time at their young adult retreat.

In my preparation for the weekend which was around the theme passion and looked at Deuteronomy 6, I was reminded of two of my favorite quotes from two my favorite people to describe the human condition.

First from CS Lewis (Clive, as his mom called him) in the Weight of Glory:
"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak. We are halfhearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mudpies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

And then (eerily similar) from Samuel Logan Brengle on his favorite topic of holiness:
“How infinitely and hopelessly foolish shall we be if we are so selfish or tearful or unbelieving as to refuse! It is as though a king should offer a poor beggar garments of velvet and gold in exchange for rags, diamonds in exchange for dirt, and a glorious palace in place of a cellar or garret. How foolish would the beggar be who should insist on keeping a few of his rags, a little handful of his dirt, and the privilege of going back to his cellar now and again. until the king finally withdrew all the splendid things he had offered! And yet so foolish, and more so, are they who try to get this blessing from God, while refusing to consecrate their all and obey Him fully.”

How many times have I found myself grasping handfuls of dirt and hiding in the corner of the cellar? We must remember what God has offered us free and clear. It's so within our grasp if we only reach out for it.

If you want to read the whole chapter from The Way of Holiness, it's available online here. In fact, several of his books are available online at raptureready.com.

Is there a doctor in the house?

2006-01-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

Jen and Riley were playing doctor the other day. Riley would check Jen’s symptoms and then go into the other room to “check the computer.” She had just checked Jen’s symptoms and then returned to inform her that it appeared she had pecrodality. Jen asked her, “what do I have?” And Ri repeated “pecrodality.” Sensing the patient's concern, Riley calmly explained. “It means you have a cold.”

The doctor pictured of course is Libby, not Riley, sporting the toy stethoscope from the kids' doctor kit.

The Chronic of Narnia

2006-01-05T10:47:00.000-05:00

This is one of the funniest things I've seen come out of SNL in a long time. It the Chonic-les of Narnia Rap. If you have a lot of bandwith and about 5 minutes to spare, it's worth the trip. One word of warning: apparently they didn't feel like they could parody Dr. Dre without including one cuss word that gets bleeped. So be forewarned if you're easily offended by such. It's the really bad cuss word. Other than that, it's hysterical.

Warning Labels

2006-01-04T16:55:00.000-05:00

Oh how I love the warning labels. So this is a 50 cent ride in our little pathetic mall close to us. And here is the warning label that shows through the windshield of this Safari jeep ride. What cracks me up is the word "whilst." Who is writing these labels? Who still says whilst? I did hear a voice on one of the other rides that sounded distinctly British, so I guess it's possible that the Walpole Mall has imported 50 cent rides, all the way from the British "Empire." Impressive.

And then here's another one I saw on the road the other day. It's a bit hard to read what it says on the back of this tanker truck, but here it is: "TECHNICAL ANIMAL FAT. NOT INTENDED FOR HUMAN FOOD." I'm just so grateful that the MOPAC company puts this on the back of their trucks, because if you're anything like me when I'm on the road, there is nothing that hits the spot like some technical animal fat directly from the ol' tanker truck. Who is this warning for? Do they really think someone's hooking a hose up to this thing in order to funnel animal fat?

Well, I've gotten hungry whilst writing this blog. Gonna go grab some fat from the fridge. Remember to be forewarned is to be forearmed. But to be forearmed can be painful, particularly to the head.

New Years in Philly

2006-01-03T11:20:00.000-05:00

We spent New Years at the Pioneer Corps in Philadelphia. John Copeland and his Generation Next bunch of crazies puts on an all-night worship sevice from 7pm to 7am including the midnight mass choir, mass drum corps, mass dance troupe Days of Elijah Jubilee Jamboree. That was pretty incredible. The whole night was really amazing. Some serious seekers after God in that room.

Right away the Spirit was present. I wrote this description of what happened early on, thinking somehow, I would take "live notes" as the night went along, but when you're in the Spirit like that, you'd just rather be there, in that moment than trying to record it. Those who were with us know what it was like. Those who were not are only going to get a small hint of the flavor through reading. So these are my only "live notes" that I ended up writing. It was important to be there. I'm glad I was able to be a part of it.

Philadelphia New Years 06 8:30pm
The Spirit just fell in a major way, the kind of thing you want to capture for other people to experience, but know you can't. Frankly it's been a long time since I've experienced Holy Spirit like that. And I've never experienced this prophetic worship where no one in the room knows the next lyrics but the worship goes on ubinhibited as each one just worships in their way, some singing, some dancing, some prostrating themselves.
And I wonder to myself when I want so much to be there and nowhere else, but in the presence of God, "why don't I practice the presence of God more often?" Why don't I seek this of God every day? It cannot be that He doesn't want me to experience what I am experiencing right now. We've settled for this stupid idea that God only wants us to experience His Glory from time to time. He wants us to live and breathe and walk His Glory everywhere at all times. In the basement, while we commute, while we do what we do. We define ourselves by where we live and what we do with ourselves between 9 and 4 every day. He wants us to be defined by His glory, to be constant seekers of His presence. And we sit back discontentedly accepting that He only wants to speak on certain days, or at a given event. He wants us to be there with Him all the time.
Your Glory. You're Glory. Your Glory is our Glory. From Glory to Glory.