A New Fantasy League

Inspired by endzone prayer meetings and thank-God-for-this-home-run dances and by the ubiquitous fantasy leagues that exist for every sport under the sun, including (to my horror and amusement in equal portions) wrestling, I've come up with a new concept: fantasy faith sports.

Here's the idea: similar to other fantasy leagues, players will be chosen from various priofessional leagues. Then you watch as many games as you can checking to see how your players display their ardent faith: 10 points for kneeling to pray, 5 points for pointing skyward, 3 points for wearing a cross visisbly outside your uniform. Also this league would continue to score points after the game ends: 10 points for thanking God in the post game press conference, but only if it's a bland non-sectarian God. It would be minus 20 points if the player actually mentions my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ for the possibility of offending non-Christian fans.

It would also cost you 10 points if your fantasy faith player fails his league's drug test or gets arrested, minus 25 additional points if the arrest is for domestic abuse. Minus 20 points for mentioning God in the post-arrest press conference. Minus 100 points for mentioning God in media interviews discussing your day after Thanksgiving arrest for criminal possession because you were holding "your friend's crackpipe" so your kids wouldn't be exposed to that scene.

Obviously, there are many other sports-faith intersected instances that would need to be measured on a case by case basis.

If you want to join the league, we'll be running the draft at the potluck after church this Sunday. So pick a team name (mine is the Massachusetts Men of Faith), come up with a cool logo and study up on your spiritual sports. See you there.